Dark Willow

What Now?

2011-08-13T08:20:00.003+08:00

My mind and heart's so clouded from all that's been happening. All I ever needed was people to have guts on holding on and sticking up to their words. I know I shouldn't be confused and should have been decided but as always I can't just ignore how I feel. I'm hurt, I really am. The sadness is filling me up... is it really to much to ask to atleast treat me right or show to me how things should be? Why do I have to always endure things? I may not show how much people are affecting me. I don't want to be attached anymore. Tired of expecting. Was always observing on how people would do on whatever I do. I guess they'll never understand.

I know I shouldn't allow myself to be mistreated. I thought I would be fine with it for people to be satisfied since they want to get even. I'm tired of explaining my side to them. I just let them be... but this is too much. Again, I'll take my time. Observe and deal with them.

I want my loner life back. I need to be away from people. I need a new environment or atleast back to my quiet space. I'm just plain tired. I'm always proven wrong to believe in them.

too much coldness

2011-03-06T22:55:00.002+08:00

the silence.. it's been killing me.

but i have too.

the distance it's killing me.

but i have to.

i've been wandering.

i was waiting.

i AM still waiting.

is it too much to ask??

i'm sitting in this dark cold corner.

waiting for even a spark of light.

my hands were left... reaching out.

but you were never there to take a hold of them.

you always shut me off.

too much coldness...

i'm freezing inside...

i'm shivering...

all i need is a warmth even from a little candle.

if i am really that someone for you...

at least spare me that warmth.

now i am to take my rest.

yes i am tired.

i'm giving you your universe.

but there's no giving up in me.

you know where to find me.

if only i'll hear those words again.

2010-04-27T02:28:00.004+08:00

but it really hurts to know that you don't need me.
all i ever wanted was to feel my importance.
but i guess i'm just no one.

if only those words would come from you.
i'd do anything.
for your love.

April 27, 2010

2010-04-27T02:23:00.002+08:00

It's another 27th of the month that would just pass by as usual... and it still hurts.

I hate this feeling.

PAIN.. that's what my life is

2010-02-10T22:53:00.003+08:00

Why does it always have to be this way? Why do I always end up miserable. Always hurt from all the things that's been happening. I always say that I'm nearly losing it but then it seems like I just really don't know when to quit. Why can't I just stop and take another turn? I guess I've been trying to be fine but then they just won't allow me to be. Is it that fun to treat me as a game? Why me? Can you please allow me to live a normal life away from all the drama?

CAN YOU PLEASE TREAT ME RIGHT?

Please tell me frankly if this path leads to somewhere or I'm just stuck on a dead end.

I couldn't find anymore the words to express how I've been feeling for the past months.

Plunge Straight In

2009-09-17T18:44:00.004+08:00

"Whenever you want to find out about something, plunge straight in."
*lit a cigarette.. drinking tea...*

I'm currently reading this book. Reading this line gave me the idea to start doing this blog. It may fit or not but I like the idea.

It's a fact at any circumstances that if you want to learn or know something, you should plunge straight in and work on it. When we start taking paths, we either force ourselves to continue or just plainly give up. It never fails that we often have regrets even if we don't like to.

Personally, I'm having lots of struggles with commitments. Not because I want to but because it always seems that there is something hindering me to continue. But then if I try harder, it'll all be just a cloud in the back of my mind. Multitasking ain't easy but sometimes you just have to do so.

Having different encounters bring people numerous doors of opportunities. Wanting to know them all would be more often impossible than not. Focusing on something is better. Knowing the right path, the right road to walk on. It's just like being in the career world. Working to fulfill a goal. I may not be entirely involved with working per se but I do find time since it's a need. It's a part of me that builds me to who I am.

I'm a book lover. I LOVE reading. I appreciate literary works but not much of my owns. Haha! Anyway, when it comes to researching and writing, maybe I suck or am I just an average one? I do write a lot though but on random stuffs.

Can't seem to see the relations with my posts?? Neither do I, I just simply want to blog and share the thoughts that have been coming out of my mind.

Speaking of writing and encounters and job. That's because for now I could say I've taken this door in writing. Opening this door made me want to know more, to learn more. To be eager enough not only to work but to challenge myself. It's an opportunity that I won't consider easy (even if it's a damn very easy job for others). I'm not that talented but I love doing it. I had to do some researching though before I could fully write everything (that depends on what I am going to write). Maybe some of you already have the idea of what I am good at when it comes to expressing and sharing stuffs. But with this encounter, its a very random one. Expect the unexpected. The good thing about this is it's up to you if you'll take it or leave it. That's why I say it's a challenge. You are given the choices and of course so are the consequences. Working on something that ain't your forte is something complicated but fun at the same time. All ideas would suddenly pour into your mind and you'll never be sure where to start. Either you'll limit yourself or not.

With this entry, I could say that I am plunging straight in to my articles. There are some things that aren't enough to be just placed on writing. You have to show it. You have to do it. I have to play the role as well. I always try to find how I could apply this ideas in my personal life - being creative enough to mix stuffs and make them work.

I may not be that contented with my life for now. But for me to reach that goal, I have to focus on things that I should be working on. Strive hard and always give my all. I may regret it or not but at least I know for myself that I did what I am capable of doing.

Find the right ring that will fit your finger and wear it. It's hard to find one that's perfect but once you find it, keep it. Be proud.

being reminded

2009-07-18T12:20:00.002+08:00

i was suddenly reminded through a comment at facebook.

a fact that i've forgotten.

i am changing and i know that. i am growing and i know that. i've taken my steps in paces. it's upto anyone to appreciate it or not.

only apathetic people go with the flow. i am and will always be true to myself. this is me so deal with it.

i am a salmon and will always be. i will continue to go against the flow. keep on holding on to myself. i will always struggle for sure but that's a fact i have to face. regardless how strong the current will be,, i will always fight to have a grasp of my purpose.

I'M MAD!

2009-07-11T02:15:00.001+08:00

I'M MAD!

tanggap ko lahat ng mali ko pero tanggap mo b mga mali mo?!

waiting for nothing

2009-07-05T17:21:00.003+08:00

and so i was waiting for nothing...

do things always have to be up to me??

there are still some things i want to tell you but i guess it ain't worthy anymore

i've never given up despite the fact of knowing and accepting all the troubles between us

i know i've been at fault as always but you then made all those burdens heavier on me

you should have thought and felt deeper.

i'm still waiting... it could be stupid of me to do so but i'm still hoping.

if that doesn't matter anymore i can't blame you.

the blame's always on me

WAS in a good mood...

2009-06-13T23:54:00.002+08:00

Was in a good mood a little but then everything just became bothersome. Maybe I really don't have to say anything neither complain but I'm just kinda having the feeling of being just a burden... An ALL TIME BURDEN of all kinds. And most of all... I'm starting to hate money. I know it's obvious to everyone that money has always and will ever be an issue but heck it's really tickling on my nerves.

Maybe I should be money conscious as well then maybe that could help me to be more neutralized when I'm with someone who's ALL ABOUT THE MONEY.

This ain't really to offend someone or anything against anyone... it's just really what's on my mind right now.

No To Con-Ass

2009-06-07T03:05:00.002+08:00

Potipot Island

2009-04-29T15:48:00.002+08:00

Just in the mood to blog.

Last apr23-25, the supposedly Puerto Galera trip became Potipot Island trip.

Since Kat was returning from Australia, she decided to g oout of town. Stressful planning really on where to go and with the reservations. All were in a rush but then unexpectedly Kat informed us to just have the trip in Subic. Due to lack of budget [obviously Subic is way to expensive for us] and the eagerness for nature tripping, I suggested that we should go explore Potipot Island since lots of my colleagues already went there and all the feedbacks were wonderful.

Went to Zambales with Abe, Ivan and Joby. Quite an adventure really going there since it wasn't really planned at all. Searched for a place to stay through the net then decided to contact SunBloom Resort while we were already at Pampanga!

After 7 hours of travel; we arrived at the resort, got our room then me and hubby went straight to the kitchen to cook for dinner. Not really used to cooking for a group and since everyone was in a rush, I even forgot to bring extra seasonings! Was really ashamed of myself. My sinigang na hipon lacks taste. SO i texted Kat to buy Tamarind cubes and sinigang mix to fix it. Finally, got the taste that I wanted!

After dinner, we already start drinking while waiting for Kat to arrive. Quite an emo night for Joby since it was the night where he wishes to get really drunk and let out all the bitterness remaining in him. Unfortunate for him really to love a complicated bitch. Sorry for the term but it's true. Though at first I kind of understand the girl's situation but hell she's really playing a game now, after hearing the stories and actually reading the messages Joby keeps on getting from the girl.

So anyway, enough with her... just expressing a lil bit about such an arrogant bitch. And so, Joby did end up being so damn drunk, puking and swearing us. But still it was a fun night.

The next day, prepared a damn power breakfast [fried rice, beefsteak, sinigang na hipon, bread and fruits]. Was really stress after having the brunch and I ended up falling a sleep due to my aching arm. After a bit of rest, we already prepared on going to the island. We rode a banca going to the island. The experience was so great! [it was my first time obviously]

Upon arriving at the island, took some pictures then an hour of playing and swimming. Went to explaore the whole island for an hour or two then again find another spot where we could continue playing and swimming. Had fun collecting seashells, white sand and burying Joby under the sand.. hahahahaha! Was also able to see fishes under the water while we were swimming... it was really a wonderful experience. Around 5pm, rode the banca back to the resort then after taking a shower, was back to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Again a shame for me to forget putting the chicken cubes eventhough I have it with me. Grrr.... the curry lacks taste.. haha! Really such a shame since it was my first time cooking for my HS friends so they really have no idea how tasty my meals are. Really would like to cook again for them and prove myself [swear naman kasi nakakahiya kaya! pag sa manda maayos timpla ko tapos sa kanila di ako makapagconcentrate.. grrrr...] Anyway, while waiting for the meal to be cooked, we were already owning the videoke machine. That was a payback for the previous night since the other group staying at the resort damn used the videoke for the whole night. After dinner, we drank again and sang all night. Imagine how much it cost us to sing til around 1am [we started around 6.. haha!], all those 5 pesos coins! haha!

Then back to the room since we were already out of coins. Continued drinking there and as expected, Joby didn't drink much anymore while hubby and Ivan were too drunk that exactly after drinking, both of them ran to the comfort room to puke! But still it was really a pricless moment. Everyone was having fun so I guess everything was fine.. haha!

The next morning, had a bit of breakfast then prepared our stuffs since it was already time to leave. We would really like to extend our stay if not only for Ivan since he still has work the next day. Left the resort around noon already since hubby wasn't feeling well yet. Bought a cup noodle while waiting for the bus. Exactly after the cup was filled with hot water, the bus arrived and really funny since we had to sit at the back part and hubby had a hard time getting there while holding his cup noodles. The soup was already spilling the whole time on such a bumpy ride. Hard to explain but the entire journey.

After transferring to another bus to olangapo. Hubby was somehow fine already taking naps on the road. Had dinner at Chowking upon arriving at the terminal station in Olongapo then off to the bus going south.

Myself - Full Moon o Sagashite

2009-02-15T12:04:00.002+08:00

doushite doushite suki nan darou
konna ni namida afureteru

ano koro ha ushinau mono ga oosukite nani mo utaenakatta
sukoshi hanareta basho soko ga watashi no ibasho datta

kimi no hitomi no oku ni ano hi samishisa wo mitsuketa
futari niteru no kana?
kitsukeba itsu mo tonari ni ite kureta

doushite konna ni suki nan darou
kimi no koe kanshii hodo hibiiteru yo
ima made nani ga sasae datta ka
tooku hanarete wakatta yo

nakinagara sagashi tsuduketa maigo no kodomo no you ni
kedo soko ni ha eien nante aru wake nakute

"dare ni mo shinjinakereba iin da yo" tsubuyaita ne
futari niteru no kana?
ano toki kimi wo mamoru to kimeta no ni

doushite konna ni suki nan darou
toosugite chikasugite todokanai yo
"wasureyou" tte omoeba omou hodo
kimi ga ookiku natteku yo

doushite konna ni suki nan darou
kimi no koe kanshii hodo hibiiteru yo
ima made nani ga sasae datta ka
tooku hanarete wakatta yo

doushite konna ni suki nan darou
kantan sugite kotae ni naranai

it's just how i feel

2009-02-15T11:59:00.001+08:00

won't expect too much anymore but maybe hope that days would come that some things would still change and happen and that we'll be stronger... can't really do anything but love him.

me likey hug!

i'm sorry

2009-02-15T11:00:00.001+08:00

i love you

and

i'm sorry

bitter??

2009-02-14T04:01:00.002+08:00

Cha considered calling people quite hating this day bitter... It's been awhile before last year that i was able to celebrate February 14 with a guy and last year was quite simple and yet heart-warming. But i guess that was only last year, for in this day again I am alone and unstable. Maybe I should have just decided to have our STPROG presentation today then maybe I'll be more occupied and busy. Didn't expect would be able to finish the program that fast and now my mind is lingering with thoughts that just hurt. Before saying those words, it did cross my mind about being alone on this day... and knowing that things are really complicated and in a blur, those words just came out. And it really does hurt, knowing the facts and the need of just keeping it inside. Since it's been months of waiting already for realizations and everything to work, it just gets worse... Without wanting it, I guess we just had to... I just had to. Won't call myself as an assuming one or someone who gives the wrong impression really, but that's just how it made me feel. Being totally unrecognized even if I've already told him what I had to go through since I did believe that I have him.

Being quite oppressed from the inside especially regarding this occasion [well not only today but even the past days or months], won't call it bitterness. It's just facing reality on knowing that this world couldn't possibly withstand me. Getting tired of me............ and also am aware of being tired myself.

@.@

2009-02-07T17:23:00.001+08:00

I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!

I NEED TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!

I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE!

I DON'T WANT TO THINK ANYMORE!

IT'S USELESS!

NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN!

AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!

Complicated Relationships

2009-01-29T09:20:00.002+08:00

Just a little something i wanted to post. A short reaction paper I had just made from our discussion in class.

Relationships with no commitment: being afraid; not prepared for the commitment or just plain complicated. You can’t deny the fact that still feelings are involved. It may be having the true feelings or just being infatuated to whom with you are involved. Maybe wanting to learn more about the person or knowing yourself on how you’ll be able to handle relationships. There are so many reasons for a person to engage in different kinds of relationships yet sooner or later you’ll have to decide whether to take things seriously or just leave it behind and move on.

Being single and finding yourself quite compatible with someone who’s also single, you engage in a relationship or commitment called fling. Not much complicated since it could be considered that the feelings are mutual and both of you are comfortable with one another’s company. It’s like having someone to inspire you and makes you be able to work efficiently and with a smile. But what’s contradicting about it is you’re never assured whether or not you have the right to hold on with a stronger sense of responsibility with one another. To hold on with a stronger sense of feeling you are loved and you love that someone. You may feel secured that you have one another but till when and how secured would that feeling be? Still you know that it may or may not work so you just continue on having such relationship and wait if it’ll progress or not.

Being single or not and having a complicated relationship with someone who’s taken. Another complicated relationship that you know you are never to commit but yet you have that “kilig” feeling and you enjoy one another’s company. It may be he or she can’t leave the other one yet he or she finds what he or she’s looking for in you. Quite a complicated and could be a prohibited relationship but still both of you still endure.

Both situations have things in common. A fact of time management involved, enjoying what you’re feeling in the spur of the moment and not being reassured of anything. The threat of being too attached and getting hurt is the worst thing to handle in such relationships. Not being prepared enough of what could happen or accepting that things could never be; you’ll end up losing yourself. It maybe no one’s fault or could be your own fault. One thing’s for sure, you could never say that there is an “us” so might as well learn to accept that fact. Somehow, some consider these kinds of relationships as a stepping stone on learning to find the real one but why look for it? Why not just wait for it to arrive and continue with your usual life and make a progress in the real world? You can never demand or expect anything if things aren’t really mutual or real and taken seriously.

Still, one thing I could give as a remark would be: Such relationships are hard to explain but still people engage in it. The bittersweet feelings and the pains are real and inevitable. But you can’t deny the fact that you learn, you become stronger and everything moves on.

inhale.. exhale..

2009-01-01T21:51:00.002+08:00

hayz,, bigat ng pakiramdam koh uber.. thanks adj for being there.. you're always there to listen/read my rants even though i know you're already tired hearing the same topic/issue... hayz.. atleast,, i was able to let it out.. could hardly breathe anymore and was really waiting for you.. uber salamat...

"you're not just another character in my story.."

unhappy

2008-09-17T02:54:00.003+08:00

just plain UNHAPPY...

tears just kept pouring down my cheeks...

wanting to be near you but it just seems like there's a big wall between us...

why does it have to be like everything's gone wrong?

or is everything already a mess and i'm too blind to see and accept it?

everyone wants to be understood
everyone wants to be appreciated
everyone wants to be accepted
everyone wants to be liked
everyone wants to be cared for
everyone wants to be trusted
everyone wants to be loved

everyone wants a place in someone else's heart.

nobody wants to be always at the bottom of everything.

everyone's unhappy with me
the madness and the heaviness inside
slowly pulling me back to my cold dark cell.

shouldn't i say that??

2008-07-21T00:31:00.001+08:00

just kinda want to react..

wondering if you're doing fine with her or what..

anyway,, i was just affected by your statues..

for i know that i should be the one saying that..

i hate what you've made me become.

i became so damn unstable because of you.

but still i'll prove not only to myself but to everyone that i can go on with my life.

babangon at babangon ako.

now i'm quite calm

2008-07-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

too much hatred inside

lost the one you love
lost your bestbud
lost your brother

such a goner
the unaccepted one

stop

2008-07-16T03:54:00.001+08:00

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME!

I'M THE ONLY FREAKING ONE
WHO KNOWS HOW I'M FEELING!

NO ONE ELSE BUT ME!

i'm such a burden

2008-07-16T03:19:00.000+08:00

AND IT'S TESTED AND PROVEN

can't breathe

2008-07-16T03:15:00.003+08:00

my present situation is enough for me to know and for people ain't concern,, back off.

i could hardly breathe anymore.

and there's no one really for me to talk to.

just a big reason why i should hold on to my decision.

it's for his own good. it is really for his own good.

pre-occupied

2008-05-08T01:44:00.002+08:00

why does it seems like my mind's too pre-occupied and i'm having a heavy feeling inside?

i'm actually doing nothing much lately yet i have so many stuffs going on in my mind... and because of this i just suddenly had the urge to blog. i just had to let it out a bit but not in complete details though.

there's been some thoughts that's been disturbing me lately... or maybe i can't even remember since when. somehow things are quite inevitable even though you try hard to go through them. i tried overcoming them too but i guess everything is not enough.

and i suddenly had to pause. it's just now that i left the tv on and the song's no air by jordin sparks with chris brown. somehow it quite got me. and the questions from that song i just seem to know the answer.

look,, i don't care what you readers would think of my post for today. i'm just trying to be true with how i'm feeling specifically at this moment. so you could continue reading on with my post but don't act like you even do really care or know me.

it seems like maybe i've been able to move on.. and it does takes time. and for me,, i guess i've been using up lots of it. it seems like i've also been giving lots of serious advices lately to others and yet i know for myself that i'm the one who's making a fool out of myself.

i know that even though other people try to hold on to me and pick me up and keep me close,, it will still be up to me if suddenly they'll decide to drop me off again in my dark room. i tried not to think about it but i guess that's just how things are sooner or later. i wouldn't deny the fact that somehow i'm hoping that someone would really stand by me and wouldn't get tired of me. but ofcourse i can't expect too much from that scenario.

somehow this post is quite a warning or something like that for others not to also get hurt by me and again i know for the fact that i'm hurting myself deeper as time pass by.

i thought i would be able to get a hold of myself by now but i guess this isn't that time yet. but still there's nothing wrong with trying to be strong right? especially if you could still grasp that little confidence within you that you'll be able to do it and walk through it.

divert your focus to something else. try to ignore even if it hurts deep inside. sometimes that's just all you can do. you could only agree to what others say or even listen to your own words but inside you're torn down to pieces.

we often say not avoid things that keeps on bothering us and you must overcome it but then more often than not it's wiser to ignore them and look forward so as to avoid more attention. too many confusions in such living. every one has their own commotion inside their heads and their hearts. every one really has their personal way of dealing with these things. it just so happens that every one is inevitable to break down and end up losing to themselves.

well,, still there's nothing we could do about it right? nothing else to do but to try to stand up again and walk forward.

hearts day??

2008-02-14T00:25:00.003+08:00

i don't know why... i should be happy.. it's been a while since i had my valentine.. but then i'm having this heavy feeling at the present and i don't know why.. i'm just totally not in the mood.

aaarrrrggghhhh! such heavy feeling! i hate it! anyway,, quite a busy life so just another day.

anyway,, mwahugz hubby.. i love you.

just something missing

2008-02-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

i miss my mom.

i miss having a REAL mom beside me.

to die for

2007-10-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

if there's one thing i would die for......................

THAT'S SEEING A

WATERFALLS

salamat

2007-10-18T01:32:00.000+08:00

MASAKET! TANGA KA! TANGA!
HANGAL KA PARA SUMUNOD AT MAGPAUTO NG TODO SA NARARAMDAMAN MO PARA SA ISANG NAPAKAWALANG KWENTANG TAO!
MAKINIG KA NAMAN SA UTAK MO!
HINDI GIPIT ANG TAWAG DUN! KATANGAHAN!
SALAMAT NA LANG SA PAGPAPAHALAGA NUNG SINGSING!

could be...

2007-10-17T04:02:00.000+08:00

i dunno why but i guess i'm quite guilty... yep,, nanggatong ako.. yep,, i saw the picture.. yep,, i've been at his pad.. yep,, i did think of him badly.. yep,, i gave mallice. and their friendship... i would say i gave it the benefit of the doubt. kahit ako naman magagalit kay bf. i've been specific so far with what i've known and what i've said. being acquainted with 'em didn't mean am in either side. i'll always be with you no matter what.

GUILTY

nothing changes my perception:
"guys are guys"

back to blogging... hopefully.

2007-10-07T22:15:00.000+08:00

100107 monday
wasn't able to attend my literature class. took the cab for my belec class and texted hubby to arrive by 3pm. gave him some stuffs i bought for him, gave my theo paper to hubby after having it printed for editing. ate are lunch/merienda at ate emy's having the usual oyster beef. chiong arrived and i told him about hubby and i. then back to school to attend my socio class. after taking my quiz, i texted abam for a talk. told him about me and hubby. as expected he's upset and was controlling his temper. ended up him not playing the game at lucia anymore and drinking at qspot. it was our 20mins break so just sat at the blue benches with hubby, iyoy and dave then back to my socio class. walked to hubby's pad since we accompanied jason along the way. ate at tonyang's pancit palabok eatery since i was craving for palabok that night, then hubby and i talked bout some stuffs that somehow gave me my temper. anyway, at hubby's pad, i retyped my theo then worked on hubby's theo. ended up going home around 2am. wasn't really planning to sleep that night but i ended up falling asleep in front of my pc.

100207 tuesday
was late at my 7am class but atleast i was still able to submit the short quiz thanks to kambal. could hardly remember the details anymore but anyway, after my math class was with hubby during my theo class, ate siomai at cantina then waited for our group's theo project by the gate. took it to fr.martel then went to qspot. it was kambal's bday and ikit [stellan kbatch] was also there. small world talaga.. magpinsan ang kambal at classmate k0h. anyway, talked to byron then to abam, had a little drink and then i saw by the counter that tita was already selling siomai and balot! DANG! I LOVE THE SIOMAI! ONLY 5PHP PER PIECE AND IT'S SO MEATY AND YUMMY! HAHA! what a very suggestive way to describe it. anyway, back to school since hubby's class was done already then to his pad to continue working on with his theo but then we ended up drinking another 2 bottles of matador with his cousin. hubby was very drunk that night and ended up sleeping without even working on his theo anymore. cleaned up their place then went home.

100307 wednesday
finally i was able to attend my psych 930am class. already missed the previous 2 morning classes in that subject and would nearly get an NGA. dang! no way for that subj! anyway, after the class i went to qspot and saw claire being the first one at the tambayan was also waiting for the siomai! haha! we were all hooked to that siomai at qspot! eh kasi naman masarap talaga n0h tapos mura pa! at around noon, i even have a container with me and filled it up with 10pcs siomai for my hubby. went to hubby's place and gave him the siomai. wawa si hubby. still had a headache/hangover. he didn't go to school and just decided to stay at home and rest. he was still to fix the house before he would leave to go at rhicz place. back to school at around 1pm for my math class, only had class discussion then back to qspot. again, siomai galore! ang bagong trip: less alak.. m0re siomai! left qspot at around 7pm since was already feeling tired and can't wait for jomar and ailen anymore. i guess that was the only time this week that i took the train and only going home since i spent too much of my allowance on those siomai! haha! arrived home and couldn't seem to fall asleep so i just ended up doing random stuffs in the net; the usual multiply/friendster m0de, saving and uploading pictures, chatting with my hubby, helped him a little for a research then i again ended up falling asleep in front of the pc. dang!

100407 thursday
wasn't able to attend my literature class again and that's the 2nd time this week! anyway, spent my time at stritlyf, ciggie m0de with joseph, andrew and chiong then just attended the practice after our lit class. qspot m0de, siomai galore again then back to school for my 1230 class. usual kulitan sa classroom then after math class, had our practice again for lit and hubby went with us to watch the practice since he didn't have his class that time. back to qspot after practice while hubby to his next class. colt45 m0de ang tropa sa qspot sabay ng videoke at bilyar. back to school for my hubby then to his pad. he had his dinner then he worked on with his prog while i worked on his theo. had a craving for siopao, edwin bought 'em from 711, hubby got tired of all the algorithms shiznit, headache and fell asleep. was done with his theo at around 1am already and left back to my pad.

100507 friday
went to school around 1pm for our socio test. had it at room 205, and surprisingly it was chiong's class! haha! sleepyhead sa klase amf! just felt quite uncomfortable with the girls of the class, ambiance ain't right especially if their ganging up on my friend jen?? ain't right mah ladies,, be reasonable first before ganging up on mah frend. i hate messing up with girls but if you don't act right then don't try to be even friends with me. anyway, nuff said. went to library to to my hubby with the rest of his classmates for they were working on some exercises or whatever that was. wasn't able to spend much time with hubby this day. qspot m0de, claire's birthday, drinking m0de with tropa then ended up going to chiong's place to continue drinking. mixed issues, mixed emotionas and the whole night i was bothered with hubby's mood. of course i don't want us to have an argument about small things. anyway, just hope that jomar and ailen would really fix things up. jopeth,, chill. claire,, chill. tweety,, thanks sa pulutan and soundtrip. upon leaving, just decided to drop-off at hubby's place and apologize.

100607 saturday
went to school around 11am for lit practice. qspot m0de for some minutes then to my hubby's pad. patched up some misunderstandings and tampuhan then ok na! yipee! peace nuh kme ni hubby! had a craving for ice cream so we bought a pint of my favorite double dutch! yum! then we played power pusoy the whole afternoon while i was waiting for my groupmates. met with them back at school at around 6pm. talked a little for our interview questionnaire then at around 9pm we already left to cubao and conduct our project. first we went to the police station to ask if ever they already have a prosti caught at their precint but there's none so already worked on our plan B. lakas manggatong nung mga pulis napikon ako! kasama kasi hubby koh tapos hubby koh daw siguradong lalapitan kagad. bale two groups kame.. hubby,, lolo gel and si khulet ang naghunting ng prosti tapos kame intay sa may motel. gosh! sa may clikz motel namen ininterview ang prosti. ambilis nga daw lumapit sa kanila nung mga bugaw eh mahirap lang negotiation pag nabanggit na sa kanila na for interview purposes. anyway, i was the one who conducted the interview just to be sure sadly i wasn't satisfied with her answers. di siya kasing taklesa nung na-interview ko years ago sa bangbang-ali for school project din. after the interview, had a roadtrip until quezon ave to take a video of the prostitutes and how they hook up themselves with their customers. uwian blues.

100707 sunday
was awaken by a very disturbing dream. well, for me it was disturbing. i was bothered till noon so i decided to text kamil. was doing online shopping the whole noon and by the way congratz to those who won in their bets with the pacquiao vs barrera and dlsu vs ue. arrived church at around quarter to five. after attending to some stuffs at the parish office, waited for kamil. i really love it and hate it at the same time when i have bad dreams like that and the feelings were right. had quite a talk with kamil. her problems then with her tears. supposedly we were to attend the mass together but since lyan arrived, just decided to take the time to chill so i just accompanied her back to the church for her to say her prayers. supposedly we were to play billiards at barrios and a bit of drink but ended up chilling at kopiroti along katipunan. oh and yeah rosa's still working in kopiroti.. thought she's in coffee bean already. so there. just chill with our coffee and french toast and kopi bun. i really hate it when i see kamil like that. please people, anyone... even though you tell me she's already an ex of mine, i still give a damn. not only i'm like this towards her but even to my other exes, i still care so please don't mess with 'em especially with kamil. so if you'll mess with her life, am telling you, don't let our paths cross. i'll deal with you myself. anyway, after kopiroti, went back to our pads then had a talk through the phone with my mom then called up hubby since he's in dasma for the night. then this. back to blogging hopefully while having a chat with my ever dearest sis and watching lake house at hbo. haha! what a multitasking! anyway blog.. gotta go. would be updating my multiply now.

...forbidden of heart's desire...

2007-09-23T13:41:00.000+08:00

September 20, 2007
Topsy-turvy day. Left school really early. Who would even in the mood to stay there with all the stuffs that's been going on. Anyway, quite glad of having atleast a chance of spending my time alone. Was just wandering around cubao, walking and thinking. Looked through some shops for AC's gift. Ended up purchasing at Artwork. Ate at Tokyo-Tokyo. It's been a while since my last "l0ner-m0de". Supposedly, I was going to treat myself for a movie but unfortunately there was nothing for me to watch. Quite tempted to watch Chuck and Larry but I guess I wasn't in the mood for comedy stuffs. So there was my afternoon, then back to my pad. My brother arrived with my niece so again that kept me occupied. Left the baby for quite some time and atleast she made me smile. [ofcourse all babies especially cute ones could make anyone smile... i guess...]

September 21, 2007
Happy Birthday AC! Dropped by at DBTC to withdraw for extra cash then QSpot. Eventually since it was a Friday, Jomar's day to treat the beer. Had a little then left after an hour to meet up with AC. Lotsa guests he had that night. Haha! Lotsa Emperador all night long and music. Was fun but unexpectedly i fell asleep. Lucky that it was AC's pad and as expected I was very well took cared off and protected. Haha! For those who are trying to bitch me off with some stuffs, doubt your success.

September 22, 2007
Was still at AC's pad and ooooohhhh!!!! The pain I'm struggling with the whole morning 'til noon! Damn whoever that person caused my pain. [paki-ulit nga?! betsin?! betsin?! p0tah betsin?!] Struggling with all the acids my system had to get rid off. Ohwell, somehow I was doing quite fine and as expected, upon waking up, continuation for their drinking and obviously with what happened I can't drink. Mich, Pixie, Tiago, Paolo and Vic were still there, playing with the PS while drinking and so are AC's parents! Haha! Looks like it's gonna be a long birthday celebration for him. Anyway, had to leave at around 3pm for my birthday batch. Thank you so much AC for the party, the drinks and for taking good care of me.

Arrived Eastwood, still dehydrated and was shivering. Had to rest for awhile then as always, things must go on as planned. So, already went to Shopwise to do some grocery stuffs for our pulutan. Stuffs for sisig, garlic mushroom, tuna omellete, maling, soup, pancit canton, iced tea.... chips and sweets. Drinks were all bought at Abam's place. Met with Pauleen after shopwise then straight to San Juan. Worked on our pulutan while waiting for the others to arrive. After some minutes...... tadan! With the drinks, food and music?? SOLVE!

Attendance [1st batch]
Abam [ofcourse... and by the way.... PULUTIN MOH YAN!]
Jomar [yey!! bumalik siya!! hehe... thanks sa luto and lakas moh talaga sa alak! patay akoh sa birthday moh! hahaha!!!]
Ailen [tear... peace nuh keo.. wag na away... sad you have to leave early that night]
Jopeth [oist! game nuh! haha! shot pa?? gift koh?? j0ke! harhar]
B-boy [Abam's couz...]
Layne [not sure with the spelling... but thanks so much last night]
Tweety [tama daw bang tumakas! haha! niwei,, thanks sa M&M's]
Luigi [thanks for staying with us the whole night and pagsabay sa alak! hehehe...]
Pauleen [kambal.. next time wag pasaway...]
Adj [so thankful! really, really grateful of having ADJ!!!]
Abe [i'm speechless... it's just that I know stuffs are still messed up but still you came. thanks for coming.]
Enzo [the cook of the night! haha! love the maling and the sisig! harhar!]
Chiong [haha! magic boi! baraha kid!]
Mikko [kaen lang! haha! thanks for coming!]
Kaka [oist! bigla-bigla ka rin nawawala.. ilang shots pa lang yun ah! niwei,, thanks!]
Vernon [dakila ka!!!! hahaha!! talagang humabol! lucky for you may naabutan ka pa!]

This night was in a such messed-up emotion for me. And take note, I think i only had 5 shots since am not yet feeling well but then it seems like i was the one who got drunk with all the stuffs that's been running in my mind. Thanks Jomar and Adj for the comfort.

Listen to my heart?? Listen to what I'm feeling?? How could I if I'm not even fully listening to what it has to say, I'm already hurting and so are the others. I really doubt I could ever be happy again. I could never have what my heart desires. I don't deserve to be happy and be loved. I guess am always the troublemaker and the misunderstood one. And for you, fix yourself! It's not only you who's having a hard time and don't tell me I don't know what you're going through. You don't have the right! You don't know what I've already gone through with life. Still decide for yourself and even if you don't intend to make me feel guilty, I'm not that numb and it's inevitable that again the blame will be on me.

Enough for now! I must try to focus again! Stop thinking MAD!!! STOP! It's no use anymore. It's always your loss.

nakakapagpabagabag

2007-09-18T20:21:00.000+08:00

nakakapagpabagabag.. tama.. yan nga ang madalas kong nadarama nitong mga nakaraang araw... nagugulumihanan sa mga nararamdaman.

i could get to like you but don't expect me to love you.

etoh na ang madalas na katatak sa utak ko at sarili ko. sige paligaw.. sige porma.. sige lambing... hai.. akoh naman lumabas na bitch. ayoko talagang nadedevelop sa mga tao kasi parang later on haha ikaw na pala yung umaasa sa wala! gusto ko sanang tumawa kaso nababanas akoh. hai buhay... anlabo moh talaga.

may bumalik.. di moh naman maintindihan kung anong lagay nio.

may masigasig na nung una akala mo ayos bute na lang di ka kumagat kundi aso't-pusa buhay.

at ngayon.... ayokong isipin pero nakakainis naman. argh! hirap magsalita. wala kasing nakakaalam... except....... dumdidumdidum... harhar!

bxta swear ang gulo ng buhay.

ainacoh mad.. hold on to it pare... hold on to yourself. nothing more and nothing less.

remember:

RULE 1: THOU SHALL NOT TRUST
RULE 2: THOU SHALL NOT LOVE
RULE 3: JUST BE MAD

...

2007-09-16T18:33:00.000+08:00

nawiwindang akoh sa buhay lately.. nalilito.. naguguluhan... hayz.. grubeh!

basta magulo buhay!

how can i regain my focus?? why am i being bothered by stuffs i shouldn't be attending to.

don't

2007-08-03T09:58:00.000+08:00

DON'T FORCE ME TO LOVE SOMEONE!

LOVE IS SOMETHING THAT'S VERY FRAGILE.

IF I CAN'T GIVE IT TO YOU.. DEAL WITH IT!

CALL ME HARSH.. I DON'T MIND.

I'M JUST MAD.

20 Love Q's

2007-08-03T09:02:00.000+08:00

20 Love Q's
If you opened it, you have to do it.

1. 3 names people call you.
A. camil
B. mad
C. camie

2. Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
A. shirt
B. shorts
C. undies malamang..

*You must answer every question,
TRUTHFULLY*

[01] Do you still have feelings for your ex?
A: yes

[02] Have you ever been given roses?
A: yes

[03] What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
A: the notebook.. pride and prejudice..

[04] How many times have you honestly been in love?
A: twice..

[05] Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
A: not really...

[06] Whats your current problem?
A: it's for me to know and for you to find out or not....

[07] Have you ever had your heart broken?
A: yes

[08] Long Distance Relationships?
A: not an option.

[09] Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
A: yes

[10] Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
A: not really...

[11] How many kids do you want to have?
A: adoption is an option and not having my own.

[12] What is(are) your favorite color (s)?
A: black and red.

[14] Do you believe you truly only love once?
A: i guess so...

[15] Imagine you're 79 and your spouse just died, would you get re-married?
A: no marriage in my calendar.

[16] At what age did you start noticing the opposite sex?
A: before p.. as enemy.. haha!

[17] What song do you want to hear at your wedding?
A:no weddings for me nga eh! pasaway!

[18] Do you know someone who likes you?
A: oo... sbi nila eh.. ewan koh lng kung totoo...

[19] Do you like anyone?
A: yep.

[20] Are you currently in love?
A: yes and hurting.

relationship serbei daw

2007-08-03T08:57:00.000+08:00

OU OPENED IT.. NOW YOU HAVE TO DO
IT .. AND BE HONEST.

1) Single, Taken, or Flirty?
- flirty?? single...

2) Are you happy with where you are?
- no

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
- not really.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
- yep

5) Under any circumstance is cheating ok?
- HELL NO FUCKER!

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
- been there.. done that... and over with it.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
- yes. x-gf..

8) Do you want children?
- adoption is an option.

9) How many?
-i don't want my own.

10) Would you consider adoption?
- YES!

11) If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?
- i guess so.

13) Do you want someone you cant have?
- yes.

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
- no.

15) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
- yes

16) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
- yes. i can change for 028.

17) Do you have feelings for someone that isn't your boyfriend/girlfriend?
- yes

18) Ever wished you could have someone but you couldn't?
- yes.

19) Have you ever broken a heart before?
- sadly yes.

20) What would you say about your most recent ex?
-gurl o guy?? hehe...

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AND REPOST AS:
RELATIONSHIP SURVEY..

ex serbei

2007-08-03T08:46:00.000+08:00

1.Friends ba kayo ng ex mo?
= i guess so...

2.Maayos ba kayo nagbreak?
= hindi ata

3.Naging masaya ka ba sa kanya?
= sobra...

4.Sa tingin mo naging masaya siya nung kayo pa?
= i'm not sure.. kasi nung panahon na yun mas lalake pa ko sa kanya at bossy akoh.

5.Namimiss mo ba siya?
= yep

6.Love mo pa?
= you judge....

7.Musta naman lovelife mo ngayon? may bago ba?
= steady naman... bago?? not committed... and i doubt of love already..

8.Hinihintay mo parin ba siya?
= mukhang oo eh...

9.Kung mahal mo siya, bat di mo balikan?
= been there,, done that.

10.May bago bang bf/gf ex mo?
= nagkaron n ng bago.. ngayon my k-MU ata...

11.Nagtagal ba kayo?
= hindi... mas matagal p courtship period eh..

12.Natatakot ka na bang magmahal ulit?
= uu

13.Umaasa ka pa ba na may taong magmamahal sayo?
= ng totoo?? ewan koh lng...

14.Pano kung kayo rin ng ex mo in the future??
= no one can tell...

15.Galit ka ba sa kanya?
= hindi

16.Wut if, one day sabihin niya na mahal ka pa niya??
= matutuwa pero ewan koh... bahala na... baket antagal diba?? rebound n b akoh nun?? back-up?? anoh??

17.Ano kanta mo sa kanya?
= mrme! as in sobrang dame!!!!

18.Nagawa mo na bang maghabol?
= oo...

19.Nakikita mo pa ba ex mo???
= madalang...

20.Anong message mo sa kanya?
= missing you... yngatz lague... lagot sa kin manggago sayo!

upset

2007-07-27T13:24:00.000+08:00

i'm upset... disappointed of myself... am such a crap... suh a disgrace of my position... i lack so much yet i'm still here.. i need to learn more... i need to adjust a lot.. i need to train... and for all of these to happen...

I NEED THE WILL TO DO SO

shizzles! how i wish i could really bring myself to focus more...

there's not much time... it's either prove myself or give up on this task. either way... time will come i have to choose and it causes me pressure as minutes,, hours and days pass by.

vernon

2007-07-06T11:44:00.000+08:00

woi vernon....
sensya... mainit lang talaga ulo ko tsaka mali rin sa banat eh.. takte isip ako ng isip pano ka nakauwi.. amf.. niwei,, sensya na kung nahampas kita.. sorry...

i slipped.....................

2007-07-06T00:31:00.000+08:00

that's all...

i'm starting to hate drinking....

and i'm tired of my life....

how i wish it will all end now.

pasasalamat

2007-07-05T02:07:00.000+08:00

para sa mga frendships koh na andyan pa rin para sa 'kin... good or bad times...

LYAN
JUNI
CHA
ADJ

SOBRANG SALAMAT!

para sa mga bago kong tropa na nakakapagpapawi kahit papano ng mga lungkot ko sa buhay

PAULEEN
ABAM
BYRON
TWEETY

SOBRANG SALAMAT!

sa totoo lang ang bigat na talag ng loob ko... gusto ko ng sumabog! salamat sa inyo at nakakayanan ko pa! sobrang salamat! you don't know how grateful i am for having you guys... sa mga new frendships koh.. salamat sa pagiging parte ng buhay ko.. sa mga nagtatagal na nasa tabi ko pa rin... can't find the words to say...

MAHAL NA MAHAL KO KAYO AND ANYTIME PUPUNTAHAN KO KAYO.. KAKAYANIN KO LALO NA KUNG SOBRANG KAILANGAN... SALAMAT SOBRA!

dealing on my own

2007-07-05T00:34:00.000+08:00

so that's it... am done..

don't expect anything.. no updates 'bout the ish.. no further information..

that would be the last time i'll even try talking to you..

i doubt you're even bothered or still thinking 'bout it...

starting last night.... i'm dealing with it on my own...

ain't really expecting anything from you that time...

but you just chose to stay up there..

nothing..... totally nothing from you...

i wanted to talk 'bout this to somebody but unfortunately i can't...

again,, a burden on my own. am so grateful for you.... for giving me such burden.

this is what i get for shitting on you. that's how it's going to be in my mind now.

greetings

2007-07-01T14:46:00.000+08:00

GREETINGS FOR JULY 02, 2007 MONDAY

HAPPY,, HAPPY BIRTHDAY

GRACE DELAS ALAS
JASPER OMENGAN
RALPH MERCADO
VJAY

grubeh dame nio... hehehe.... yngatz kyong lahat.. mga sabay-sabay pa tumanda... wahehehe.... peace out.... happy beerday este burpday sa inyo...

alcoholic...

2007-06-30T15:14:00.000+08:00

I could hardly remember my week inside school. One thing's for sure... Monday to Friday I was drinking! DANG!

June 25: Abam and Tweety were with me back to Eastwood after drinking at Q-Spot. Only had a cab and was really funny cause supposedly I was going back alone when suddenly I saw them running after the cab then just hopped in. We were all laughing on it till we reach Eastwood. Was quite a night but then suddenly turned to hell. Walked-out from the movie house, actually I can't remember why then we were talking at Lafayette's 1 driveway when mama passed-by. JACKPOT! Even my mom contacted me! Then............... anyway.... don't want to remember.

June 26: BAD HANGOVER! 730am was my first subject and I can't concentrate in the class. Went to Ate Emy's place after class for a plain soup while Pauleen had her breakfast. Met up with Tweety then we decided to surprise Abam at his pad since we knew that he's still not up. Killed the break at his pad surfing the net while he was preparing for school even though they don't have classes anymore since it was cancelled. Back to Ate Emy's place,, had my lunch since they have kare-kare for that day! YUM! Jun also arrived at Ate Emy's then after a short while we're back to our classes. Oh yeah I kinda remember this day already!!! After school we decided to go to Makati. Picked-up Paolo then went to G4. Straight to Wendy's for Tweety's frosty then spent the time at Timezone. Also saw Kym with her girl by the escalator and kinda funny cause she really looked shocked. Anyway,, on the way back to the parking lot,, glad to see Jay and the others... they were to perform at Hard Rock and unfortunately I can't watch anymore since we just had to go. Upon arriving back here at my pad,, got a message from John informing me that they were with Loki and Oshni and since I was having a hard time to connect to the internet,, just rushed down to BROWN and again you know..... ended up drunk! Check my multiply for the pictures. Then went to McDo to chill and obviously Oshni was again hungry.... nothing new. Quite glad that Loki and I are good friends again. But hey Loki I was serious when I said you should return to being a "goodie-goodie" guy. I'm not used seeing you drink and smoke like that. So it was a long day obviously. The bad thing was upon getting back here and very tipsy,, I can't sleep!!!! So there it was,, no sleep for me again cause I have to work on my research assignment,

June 27: And so after working on my assignment,, took a quick nap then prepared to go to school again. After school stuffs as usual back to Q-Spot with Huggable [Mike] and Pauleen. All of us were having a great time laughing and playing billiards. Darn! Everyone enjoyed Mike's company.. you would even wish that you were there with us... haha! Anyway,, then after they left,, again Abam,, Tweety,, Byron and I were left. Abam,, Byron and I had our bottle of beer then decided to leave already since Tweety and Abam already scheduled to watch Bloomfields here at Central Plaza. Went with Abam while Tweety went to his pad to change. Was waiting for Tweety when suddenly he decided not to fetch Abam and I so we just took the cab back to Eastwood while Tweety went to meet Paolo first. My brother was here too so eventually he knows my new crowd already. Anyway,, then met up with Kym for the lanyards then back to the plaza,, watched the Bloomfields and was also having a good night since Tweety was dancing a little with the beat of the band. After the most awaited ALE song,, we went to Brown to drink with John and Dan. Introduced my new crowd to John and Dan then had our botlle of beers. unfortunately.... MY GLASS OF BEER WAS POURED OVER MY SHIRT AND PANTS! So eventually I had to contact mama and informed her that John was to get clothes for me. PE uniform m0de akoh nung gabing yun.... Panic mode for Tweety but hey,, it's no biggie really. Had our bucket of beer and so far it was a steady night. Before I totally forget: PUNYEMAS!!!! HALOS MALUHA NA KO SA SOBRANG KILIG KOH!!!!!! NAKITA NAMEN AUBREY MILES!!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!! WEEEEEE!!!! KILIG TO THE BONES!!!!!!

June 28: After my classes were over,, chilled a little at the canteen then again went to Q-Spot and for this day we have Paul and Vernon with us and yeah!!! Byron's girlfriend! Kara,, pretty girl.... hehehe... di na ko hihirit.. baka batukan pa ko ni kuneho... wahahaha! Had quite some beers and ended up biting a lot of my friends outta there..... PEACE!!! Left at around 7pm then back to Eastwood with Abam and Tweety... quite an unexpected night too and Tweety and I had lots of stuffs to discuss... just some stuffs. Upon reaching our unit,, went straight to the room and slept. Rest for me.... enough thinking!

June 29: IT'S A FRIDAY! Woke up 8am,, net m0de then went to my 10am meeting with Fr. Arnel. Discussed bout some youth activity stuffs and CLAYE. By the way,, we had our meeting at Rose Garden where their palabok was sooo damn "plate-full!" Went to school after the meeting then chilled at the canteen with Abam,, Mike,, Tweety and Byron. Attended my DBITS 4pm meeting then back with Abam,, Tweety and Jolo at the canteen. Left at 6pm to go to GP since Friday night is my GP night. Abam was with me and we met up with Adj at Agno. Greff and the others were still at GP before their gig and we also wrote mini write-ups for Maki. Vernon finally arrived then after Adj left Paolo arrived. Bad night for Abam since he lost his money cause of the holes in his pocket... tear. Anyway,, still had a good night. Also a little bonding with the TAPAT people whom I really missed being with. After GP,, we went to Archer's for a little birthday celebration of Paolo's Vernon friend. Nice shot for Paolo,, talking with a group of girls at the next table and all of us having little chats... funny cause at the same time Paolo's approach was late... AMF PAOLO! WALA NA YUNG CRUSH NAMEN! NAKAALIS NA! BAD TIMING! Was really shocked to notice that it was already 3am when we left Archers! All 4 of us rode the cab,, obviously I was the last one left in the cab since all of them were residing only at San Juan. The whole night BAWAL MALASING AT SOBRANG TAMAAN! KELANGAN ACTIVE! DI AKO SANAY NG DI KASAMA SI ADJ PAG-ALIS GP! WAHAHAHA! By the way,, sorry for Vernon... really didn't mean it... peace tayo... XD

So I guess that's quite everything already. For today,, I woke up at around 10am and still here in front of the monitor surfing the net doing nothing. Quite a loner cause mama's not here. BOREDOM!!!

just some stuffs

2007-06-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

June 18, Monday:
Had my LIT1 class at around 0945. We we're arranged alphabetically, ladies first sitting at the front row then the men. Made me wonder why the heck I was left out again at that time. All the girls were called except me... hahaha! Even at the class list, all females were marked with an asterisk except my name... the heck. Anyway,, so we were divided into 4 groups and had riddle games as a start for our topic. Started texting people and luckily Paxi replied with lotsa riddles,, thanks by the way,, we were all blocked out with ideas. Group 3 won then class dismissed. Breaktime,, went to Marketplace with Alyssa and her crowd. Finally Pauleene arrived,, back to the Amici to meet up with her and so was Dei's crowd was there. Then to the lab for the BELEC class. Unfortunately students were rearranged by sections and Pauleene was transferred to another section,, sad... Anyway,, a bit of orientation then assignment was given then class dismissed. Back to Marketplace with Dei's crowd and as usual back to Q-Spot,, played billiards just to kill some time before the next class. Back to school at around 3pm for my SOCIO class and dang that professor! She already started discussing some stuffs instead of dismissing the class as early as possible,, eventually wasn't able to catch up with Pau and Jed. Anyway,, so left school as soon as the class was done,, was with Karel,, quite a quiet type of a person really but eventually after some observations,, quite not.... no offense though. Anyway,, so upon arriving to Cubao station,, went straight to Siomai House! Weeeee!!!! more siomai for me! Really addicted lately to siomai,, ain't sure why. Then after he left,, met up with you-know-who and watched Fantastic 4,, after the movie,, went to Joey's,, played billiards again,, had quite a drink then to Brown to catch up with AC and Dax,, had another bottle,, then whatta night for me!!! Great topsy-turvy of emotions and anger and pain and depression.... all hatred.... you can't imagine how sore my eyes were. Everything was so heavy inside... I could hardly imagine how i was able to handle everything... I was shattered into much smaller pieces than from what I've expected but then the night has to end and eventually you can read my reaction from the previous post.

June 19, Tuesday:
Not a very good day really. Was ill the whole damn day. Still have my eyes sore from the previous night,, woke up at 5am,, rode a cab going to school,, my mind was going blank and so was everything,, all i could feel was pain and depression,, tried eating siomai and having plain soup but still nothing,, even had Jun to keep me company so atleast I could have someone to talk to since he's the only person who has an idea bout you-know-who but of course i wasn't able to tell full details cause all i could say was that I'm hurting. Went back to school since Dei and the others have their classes,, Jun accompanied me to the clinic for medicine then went to La Cantina,, bought macaroni and just quite a passive moment,, then dizziness and double vision,, great! Jun brought me back to the clinic and after my BP check,, it was 80/50,, so eventually i stayed for a while outta there. Again,, a moment alone... it ain't really good for me to be left alone for some time. Anyway,, after resting at the clinic and regaining a bit of my BP,, went back to the canteen and luckily Dei and the crowd were there too. Instead of whining over my issues,, just decided to go with the crowd for the meantime then I'll decide if I'd still attend my remaining class or go straight back to my pad already. So there,, back to Q-Spot,, played billiards,, had a bit of fun cause obviously their not boring to be with,, they all have their own funny-antics that somehow made me laugh a bit. After playing,, we went to Ate Emy's Eatery to meet up with Pauleene cause obviously we didn't have a prof at our subject so it ain't a lost for me for not attending,, anyway,, killed the time till it was 2pm then decided to check out my final subject and unluckily there was a prof and started the discussion! Dang! I was really trying to hang on till the class ended then met up with Dei and the others to bid them goodbye then went straight back here. Mama wasn't here the time I arrived so just the PC and me again outta here,, then after some hours mama arrived and I requested for a pizza,, glad she bought one,, maybe it was just a pity cause she was really mad bout me today or maybe scared that i might faint or something. Well,, now I'm quite fine I guess,, ain't sure really,, just burning my time blogging and watching at crunchyroll.com. Could hardly move much and still could feel a bit of shivering inside and pain.

So I guess my entry ends here for the night. And for the finale:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MOMMY JAPS!

ILALABAS KO LANG.... BLOODSHED.. THAT'S PART OF MY SKIN.

2007-06-19T01:41:00.000+08:00

bumalik akoh... FOR THE VERY LAST TIME... BUMABA AKO... KAHIT AS SIMPLE AS SIM CARD.. ALAM MO SIGNIFICANCE NUN... I KNOW YOU CAN'T AND I'M SORRY FOR THE ATTITUDE AND ASKING TOO MUCH... BUT STILL YOU WERE GONE.. SO I GUESS THAT CONCLUDES EVERYTHING RIGHT??? LIKE WHAT I SAID.... YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME........ NICE MEETING YOU....... IF THAT'S THE FINALE FOR YOU.... FOR EVERYONE... I JUST REALLY CAN'T FIND THE WORDS TO SAY.............. DON'T MIND ME......... I'M JUST TOTALLY LOST............. AND I'M TIRED.................. OF EVERYTHING.................... BAKET KELANGAN MAGMAMAHAL KA NA NGA LANG TALAGA MALI PA....................... TAPOS WALA PA TALAGANG PATUTUNGUHAN....................... KAHIT SABIHIN PANG HINDI KO KAYANG MAWALA KA SAKIN.......... ASTEEG NOH PAG BIGLAAN NAPAKITA KAYA KA RIN PA LANG SIMULAN SA TALIKURAN........... OO MASAKET!!! WALA AKONG IDDENY! P0TAH! LECHE! LAHAT NA NG MURA... WALA AKONG IPAGMAMALAKI! LECHE! PUTANGINA MASAKET!

[OBVIOUS BA TANGGAL PRIDE... PERO WHAT'S THE USE... MY PRIDE KA MAN O WALA.. WALA RIN...]

.kabog.sa.batas.

2007-06-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

la lang. gusto ko lang ilabas. till now kinakabog pa ko eh.

ang BATAS dumating kanina. tulog pa ko nun eh. kaso nagising ako. bute na lang talaga di ako bumangon. p0tah! galit! sobrang kabado ako at takot. di nga ako makagalaw sa kama eh baka mamaya bigla pa kong mahila pag gumalaw ako. hanggang sa pag-alis niya di pa rin ako nakagalaw. bute na nga lang hindi dahil ilang beses siya naglabas pasok sa door. pti pintuan ng kwarto nababagsak. lalo pa kong kinabahan nung naiwan ko nakakalat yung lighter. shizzles! ainacoh.... buteh na lang talaga di ako napagdiskitahan kanina. medyo nakahinga ako nung mga after 30mins wala na talaga siya... haha! nakatulog uli ako. sana lang talaga di kame magkaabutan kahit this week.. baka lang may chance magcooldown... isang malaking goodluck nanaman sa kin ang linggong toh.

just blogging my way out of anger

2007-06-12T02:05:00.000+08:00

let's start my month.... dang.... i know somehow,, some of you will react cause as of what i've posted before this entry... you'll suddenly say... i'm talking bullshits again... so i guess that's part of my life so if you can't live with it then don't proceed on reading... i'm just trying to get back to my blogging ways... missed it so much.

june 01:
a very memorable early dawn for me. anyway,, i was drunk. then in the morning to DBTC for my enrollment then to megamall with mama. we ate at wendy's then back to eastwood since someone would be coming over to fix the PC. went to station 168 for 30mins then back at my pad. had dinner at something fishy with mama, had a craving for sinigang na hipon and bicol express so obviously that's what i had for dinner. then watched a bit of brownman revival's gig for a bit while having a sip of my frap,, i guess it was the first time that mama was with me at starbucks and was glad cause she was going with the flow of my mood since am really was depressed since last may 30 onwards. so that was it for that night then back to our pad and watch tv.

june 02:
mama's birthday! was with ralph the whole day though. he arrived in the afternoon. played billiards at the freaking expensive billiards here at eastwood [dang! swear! masakit sa bulsa magbilyar dito...],, then powerstation til my uncle arrived and had to leave him for a while since it was a family dinner [kasama si batas eh... understood na yun... sowi uli ralph] then after our dinner at omakase went back to him,, met up with cha and the rest of her crowd,, spent time at starbucks while waiting for the others,, up to ipa then to the movie house at 1130 and watched pirates 3. back to ipanema,, was there till closing time then cha and i spent the morning at mcdo til past 5am. by the way,, thanks for the day ralph.

june 03:
i went to project 4 at around 6pm already. sorry if i wasn't able to attend the church that sunday. still not in a good mood. met lyan and juni at our tambayan then waited for marco. had our haircuts! haha! another way of releasing my depression! then met up with hervy [tama ba spelling??] went to barrios for billiards only till past 11pm then back to my pad.

june 04:
went to a business seminar at 6pm then ate at fazoli's. craving for lasagna and still had the hang over my depression. went to brown,, had a talk with you know who. it was too serious to begin with but ended up quite laughing and mixed trippings after i had my palpitation.

june 05:
met paxi late at 5pm i guess. played billiards then watched mr.bean's holiday. ipanema night since he really wants to drink and of course i promised that it was a no drinking night for me. quite trippings too at ipanema because of al the requests we gave the band. [mga tamang panama ba... thanks paxi sa pangungulit.. for easing me up a bit] after ipa,, down to starbucks,, then back to my pad after paxi got his cab. was online till past 9am.

june 06:
met up with clariz and ruby at starbucks, araneta. talked bout business stuffs that katerna was proposing for us to work on together. you know who was there too and waited for him to come back after changing before his work. saw lots of stellan peepz outta there too. met with rosa and their mother at SM then back to eastwood. had my siomai and sharksfin at dimsum and dumplings then back to my pad after a bit of talk with you know who. then was stuck the whole night here in front of the monitor again.

june 07:
watched ocean's 13 with you know who then to brown with ac then kym was there too then john. well,, basically,, started drinking from 5pm onwards. i was totally drunk that night. was slapping and punching people and yeah getting wet... trippings! water fight! was spilling water everywhere. only ac was lucky for not getting wet though i know he had quite a bad night with his girl.

june 08:
was here at the condo the whole dang day! texted john to be my company while watching the gig at central plaza. he arrived around past nine already with his brother daniels then to brown then back to the gig. went back to my pad around midnight and so was mama. where could she have gone to?? without even leaving me money!!! poor me.....

june 09:
ralph was back here at eastwood again. again played billiards and dang! i can't really win over him. he's really good. [wahaha!!! flattered na yan!! wahahaha!] then ate at fazoli's.. just had a pizza since wasn't really hungry. then again watched ocean's thirteen for his sake.. i was quite a spoiler though but not totally. though i was quite upset that night since lyan and juni didn't really make it and so was cha. one of cha's friends was there though and recognized us. still went to ipanema as planned and ofcourse since ralph lives in damn far away laguna,, make use of the time he's alloted here right?? had a couple of beers then eneded up to be a cocktail night. tequilla night became cocktail night. tequilla sunrise,, screwdriver,, kamikazee,, zombie,, and for the finale,, blowjob [flamingshot p0h] then vhoom.. must leave the bar. cooled off at mcdo then back to lafayette to get ralph's stuffs then waited for his uncle to pick him up. thanks again ralph for the day and thanks you know who for accompanying me with ralph. btw,, nice questions sonny!!! and glad to see payat again!

june 10:
again didn't go to the church. went to cubao to meet up with lyan but i ended up bumpin' to my brother with his gf and the baby. decided to go to joey's while waiting for lyan. played billiards for half an hour. after lyan arrived,, went to shopwise to have some stuffs then henlin mode since i was craving again for siomai. then met up with marco at NBS,, ate at country style then accompanied marco buy a game installer. met up with jun at our tambayan. short talk then back to my pad again.

june 11:
one word: BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was here the whole dang day facing the computer doing nothing but chat,, browse some sites,, soundtripping and texting people. sorry for the flood of quotes. had my 5days unlimited text so need to text as many as i can.. [peace out pipol.. hehe.. sulitin ang unli!] and so was my temper rising this day. just check out my multiply journal why. so i guess that's all. still having a chat with paxi. trying to ease me up. had lotsa topics so far.

so that's it..... goodluck for me for the upcoming days....

QUOTES GALORE!

2007-06-03T06:26:00.000+08:00

i love it when it rains.. it makes me feel like the sky felt my pain and is crying with me.

if you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best!

have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was afraid to let you? too many of us stay walled up because we are afraid to care too much for fear that the other person does not care as much or even at all.

when you hold someone, hold them like its the last time you'll ever see them and when they go, don't make reasons for them to stay, only reasons for them to return

you know... sometimes, in order to protect someone we love, "we keep secrets" - clark, smallville [this one hurts a lot... especially if those secrets were covered with lies... then eventually everyday became all lies]

you can miss someone that died. you can miss someone that moved away. but the worst way to miss someone is missing someone you see everyday.

ironic how i still long to see you smile at me. how i still want to be with you and laugh at your funny stories. still care for you and think of you. despite the tears and the pain, the after-the-funny moments heartache.. i hate you not because you can never love me back, not because you can never be mine. but because of the way you make me feel. i never knew i can be so fragile, not until you rushed into my life and captured my heart.

often, the greatest enemy of present happiness is past happiness too well remembered.

i may say that i'm just ok. i may smile all thru the way. i may laugh hard as if i'm not worrying. i may talk a lot as if i know what i'm saying and if one time you'd get to see, what's really inside of me, why i try to be funny and crazy, please don't ask why. just please smile with me

no matter how many coins you throw into a fountain, or the number of fingers you cross, if it's not meant to be, it simply won't happen.

do you know why it's so hard to forget? because in forgetting, you have to remember what you want to forget.. how can you forget if you always remember?

don't be a fool to wait for someone who would never come, to love someone who loves someone else and to long for someone who's already gone.. but you don't always have to listen to me, because i'm also a fool who has done it all.

perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return - one tree hill

"i love you" hurts when:
-it's not meant
-it's not appreciated
-it was just in the past
-it's forced
-it's a lie
and most of all? pag may dugtong na "FRIEND"

boy: i heard you found someone new
girl: yes.. and he's better than you
boy: why? can he make you smile and laugh like i do?
girl: no.. but he never makes me cry... like you do..

now i understand why some people get themselves drunk.. it's not because they just want to get wasted.. but because they want to escape each killing moment they spend every fucking night thinking about what's happening with their life, instances like breakup, being unnotified, not loved by someone whom they built their dreams with... cause more often than not, they know and it hurts a lot.

never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you and misses you.. because one day, you may wake up from your sleep and realize that you've lost the moon while counting the stars.

i don't love you! i don't even think that i ever have or ever will.. but when i'm with you, i can't seem to remember that...

wanna know what i want most in life? i want someone who can leave me, live without me and can be strong enough without me but chooses not to.

it's hard to answer the question, what's wrong? when the answer is everything.

when someone really loves you, they will never hurt you and if they do, you'll see that in their eyes they're hurting too. -spiderman

out of all the LIES he told me... "I LOVE YOU" was my favorite, and "I MISS YOU" was a close second.

new chapter

2007-06-01T18:03:00.000+08:00

It's already June and I'm proud to say that even though I'm still damn messed up in this freaking life,, I'm starting a new chapter. Glad to say I won't be a bum anymore and moving on from a very hurtful and draining situation. "Live by the moment" and "Come what may". Why do such phrases exists? A new found friend told me that of course it's based on experiences that's why everyone and don't tell me that you can't relate with it cause everyone really does. Every once in a while stupidity just shows up and I guess I could be thankful cause it really does give life a meaning. So much to learn from it and teaches you to go on with life; although it could take some time. Regrets.... my favorite word. I'm full of it, no doubt about that and you know it. There's so much in my mind till now really and all it does now to me so far is nothing. Maybe the feeling of longing for something... comfort? strength? Would be needing a lot of it but from all the stuffs I've been through... surely I could still go on. For now,, will just ease up for a while in my dark room.

Lyan,, I'm missing you. Wala akong makulit eh... hehe... anyway,, I guess I should be going now. Nothing much to share really. Not here.

For you,, thanks for everything and goodbye.

NOBODY!

2007-05-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

NOBODY CAN EVER TELL HOW I FEEL!
NOBODY CAN REALLY DEFINE MY MOOD!
SO DON'T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME ENOUGH!

DON'T TRY TO SAY EVEN A WORD!
ANYONE WHO ACTS BULLSHIT!
I WON'T EVEN WASTE A TIME TO LISTEN!

JUST FUCKIN' STOP IT!

pissed off

2007-04-16T01:17:00.001+08:00

JUST SO DAMN PISSED OFF!!!!

birthday greetings

2007-03-06T01:26:00.000+08:00

people! birthday niyo nanaman! sa mga malapit na ang birthday lalo na this week... happy birthday....! haha!

MARCH

06 - Kester

07 - Cuarts

11 - Adj

15 - Charston

16 - Micko

19 - Cha

am back!!!

2007-02-22T17:25:00.000+08:00

it's been a very long time since i last had my entry here at my blog. and doing my entry from my pc! damn! maxthon and IE wouldn't open this site for me. poor me! it's just now that i was able to access blogger from mozilla. damn! so expect that i would be updating my blog again. for the meantime, i'm drafting my january and february entries. it'll be a very long entry as expected. maybe i would be posting it by next week since it'll be the last week of february. haha! these 2 months are quite a juggler as a start of my year so bear with it if you're really into reading my entries. maybe i wouldn't give the full detail at all but person/s who were involved from those stuffs am going to post here, you know the stories, ayt! damn! also visit my multiply site and still some albums of mine and journal entries outta there ain't for public viewing. anyway, as if you even care, wahaha! so till here for now. still checking my yahoo mails and hmmm... ain't really planning to change my layout soon but the contents might be. just watch out. nothing much really. haha! i'm kinda feeling high today, ain't sure why though. maybe it's because i slept at around 5am already and woke up 4 times until i finally got out of bed at around 2pm?! shieks! anyway,, ta-ta!

miserable life

2007-02-06T16:35:00.000+08:00

life.. so cruel.. so miserable.. nothing much to say really.. just feeling plain miserable.. hate against my own self. so many mistakes in such a short time. all mixed up. pressure. pressure. too much already. all kept inside. damn! really hating myself. i want to scream. i want blood. but then, i just want to be alone. just alone.

it's been a while since i last had my entry outta here. planning to just have a monthly entry. haven't done my january draft yet so expect a very long entry next time. can't do it now since am in a net cafe. i can't seem to work on blogger with my browser at my pad.

lately, i can't stand hearing even RnB songs. it just hurts me. a few of those who are close to me or maybe just 3 of 'em knows why. music is a very big part of my life, so is dancing, but for now, it' s like i've been thinking if i should quit everything or maybe just let things pass by for the meantime. i'm just stucked up now. lost. i guess i already got the right slap to realize some stuffs and start to change or rather realize that i'm really better off alone.

reminisce.. my december...

2007-01-10T05:52:00.000+08:00

grubeh sa pagloloko ng blogger sa PC ko.. it's only till now that i was able to open my blogger account.. anyway,, since i don't have my organizer today,, ain't gonna post yet my january entries.. here's the saved entry for my december.. warning: this is long,, so if you really don't give a damn bout me,, you'll just be bored reading the entire entry.. teecee everyone..

well,, before i start my entries for 2007,, a review bout my december first. and i mean about the whole month.

120106: Started my day as usual using the net, playing ragnarok then receiving a text message for my bestfriend's birthday celebration. Her birthday was supposedly on the 2nd of the month but since the weather was fine,, decided to have it on friday instead. It was Stephen's birthday too but i wasn't able to attend his celebration til the next day. Had a great time talking with Clariz and Ruby. Took us some hours catching up on one another's stories and situations. No alcohol and less ciggie for me.

120206: Clariz's birthday. Anyway,, was playing RO as usual. McDo at around 7pm with Kat,, met up with Loki at Jollibee,, back to Kat's place for her stuffs then to Brickroad for Incorporeal's gig. Pictures at Kat's site. Done at around 3am,, dropped by to have a glimpse at Ipanema then to foodstreet with the band, Kat, Angge and Loki. Back to my pad at around 5am.

120406: Playing RO. Doorbell rung,, and guess who… AC and Irene,, you know what this means. Can’t do anything since they’re really waiting for me. 2pm and to Brown we go. Played cards while having our bucket of RHB. Happy cause all the buckets that we had have happy horse in it and yeah it’s for me to drink. [hehehe] Met up with Kat and Loki at around 7pm. Had my nap. Woke up at around 9pm. Kat’s ish,, after some hours,, neither Loki was replying nor answering my calls,, already decided to pick up Kat. Thank you that Santi was there to help me out with it. Stayed at McDo till the sun rises then Kat back to her place so is Loki.

120506: Met up with Kamil in the afternoon at McDo. Was almost caught by mama so we just decided to continue our talks at Ipanema. Back to my pad then kerubim texted to meet up at McDo and show me his hair. [swear.. lague mo na lang pplantsa buhok mo.. mas maganda yung itsura] Then back to my pad,, RO mode again.

120606: Went to DLSU to meet up with the 105 and 106,, UBreak at GP as usual. Short discussion since the governor wasn’t there to meet me too. Hoping they did listen to their tasks since till now they don’t have any concrete plans for the college on GE. Then met up with Bhong at Venue and talked bout some stuffs. [beer does help someone speak up especially when it’s bout something serious] Thank you Kat for suddenly bringing me along with that sleepover at TAFT! Shouldn’t have returned to Eastwood if I knew I’d be back at the same place. Stayed over at their friend’s place. Watched Fragile and net all night long.

120706: Was still at K2’s place till lunch time. Rode a cab back to Eastwood to catch up Kat’s class. Loki and I waited for her at McDo as usual. Serious talk. After Kat’s class she had to work on some stuffs with schoolmates. Loki and I went to Powerstation,, played DMX as usual. [reminded me of someone… you know who…] Then back to my pad. Met up with Clariz and Ruby at around 7pm and stayed at Starbucks talking bout stuffs as usual. More on Ruby and mine’s “issues”. They wanted to meet Santi so decided to be at Ipanema at 930. Thank you so much Santi for the treat. You really didn’t have to. [I really owe you bigtime… obviously...] Back to my place at past 1 or 2am. Ruby sobs over her guy talking with him on her phone. Me sobbing on my own issue with my brother. [really sorry wasn’t able to talk to you and help you out with your ish.. is this one of the reason why you’re mad at me?!] Slept at around 3 or 4am already.

120806: Ruby left at around 7am I guess. Was at McDo as usual with Kat. Supposedly I was to meet up with Kamil when suddenly we went to Vista Verde and have a talk with Angge. Took quite some time and also had our drinks outta there. Back to Eastwood and met up with Kei at Blue Onion. Then to Ipanema because of his attitude [damn! I hated this night!]. Then back at my place.

121006: FCetM meeting. Churchwork. Mom arrived so eventually I needed to go back asap. Fixed some stuffs then straight to the hotel. Mom wanted us to stay over. Not really quite a night because of some family issues we’re dealing with. But still,, things went quite fine I guess.

121106: Good morning!? Breakfast buffet!!! Really ain’t sure if I should be happy bout this cause I you know my apetite. Then back to eastwood,, McDo with Kat then Pho Hoa for our dinner then back to the hotel with Mom.

121206: Same breakfast buffet,, back to Eastwood,, Mom and I had our checkup,, had our lunch at Mexicali and even though I just had the salad,, can’t finish it. Just stayed at our pad the whole time then evening comes and eventually,, back to the hotel.

121306: Bimby’s birthday. Wonder how she celebrated hers. Same morning. Then at McDo with Kat,, decided not to join Mom and Mama for lunch since I could barely have another bite. Went to ICITE with Kat,, bonding with Alvin, Jin and AC while waiting for Kat. Learned some stuffs from Alvin and Jin [hehehe… “stuffs”…] Good thing I went back to my pad at 7pm cause Uncle was waiting for us at Shangrila. Rushed back to the hotel then met up with ‘em and have dinner at Cibo. Back to the hotel with Tita Little, Sandro and yaya. Took pictures at the lobby,, played with Sandro,, and fell asleep while waiting for uncle to pick ‘em up.

121406: Same-same. Then went to MHA for my lab test then to Berkley for some payments. Back to eastwood,, went to KFC with Jasper. Then back to the hotel.

121506: Same-same. Had my check up,, went to ADMU,, stalled at KFC Katipunan after,, back to Eastwood and met up with Kat,, AC and Le-ann [sorry,, not sure with the spelling] at McDo. Left at around 7pm for Churchwork. Didn’t stay at the hotel anymore since Misa de Gallo has started and also time for me to be busy again. Churchwork,, decided to went to the wake of Rai’s uncle,, back to Eastwood at around 10pm,, ate at KFC with mommy then went to Starbucks and had my frap,, watched the Gary V concert then back to LF2 at midnight.

121606: This one’s a tiring day… or rather a painful one. No sleep for me,, back to the hotel,, bought some stuffs from the Korean stalls featured at Megamall and I love the pretzels [Pepero] then had our lunch at Saisaki,, walked through the entire mall just for mom’s exchange gift then back to the hotel at around 6pm already,, back to Eastwood then back to churchwork for me,, bought some stuffs for the Salabatan,, watched DVD at Lyan’s place while we’re waiting for early dawn for us to cook.

121706: Salabatan after 4am mass. Back to Lyan’s place,, can’t remember if I still took a nap or I already went back to Eastwood as soon as I got my stuffs. Anyway,, it’s a Sunday so eventually,, churchwork starts in the afternoon. Back to Eastwood still ain’t done with the arguments with mama. Was having a chat with kerubim when I ended up watching on him do his project then stayed till 3am. No sleep as usual.

121806: Back to my pad at around 3am. Met up with Loki at around 4am,, Simbang Gabi as usual. Back at Lyan’s pad,, updated my multiply site while waiting for Lyan,, went to Divisoria to canvas our supposedly expenses for the give-aways and prizes. Funny stuff happened actually. Kamil was there too and so are her sister and mother. Suddenly Lyan and I lost track of our route and was confused. More importantly,, I needed not to be seen by Kamil’s mom. Long story. Quite fun but tiring for us [para lang naman kameng mga ligaw na pusa] Had our lunch at KFC, DV branch,, then last round at 168,, back to Lyan’s pad then got a message from Suazo,, went to Starbucks, Coliseum. Really sleepy but what can I do,, then met up with Marco and brought them to the parlor [mantakin niyo yun! guys na nagpapasama sa parlor… hehehe…pictures at nayl’s site] It was already past 6pm when I left them,, went to NBS for the acetates then back to OLMMP for our serve then back to Eastwood with Rai. Supposedly,, we were to spend a bit of our night at Starbucks when I saw Kat, Ac and Loki still waiting for us at McDo! Bought my tea from Starbucks then Rai got her Slurpee. Played dugtungan ng kanta for the 1^st set. Category game for the 2^nd set. Pictures at our site. [kat and mine]

121906: Still at McDo,, our faces filled with powder as a consequence from the game,, then it was already past 3am,, back to my place,, took a shower then back to OLMMP with Rai and Loki. Back to my pad,, played RO the whole day,, churchwork at 8pm,, suddenly decided to go to Riverpark. Was really glad we went to that place,, weeee! first time kong nakasakay ng bangka sa ilog! haha! korny pero masaya naman eh… hehehe! Then we also took the ferris wheel. I was alone since only two are allowed in every seat and it was only the three of us [nayl, rai and me] who were riding it. Also bought pizza and palabok,, just for tripping. [naignorante nanaman po ako sa lugar na iyon… hehehe...] Anyway,, back to Lyan’s place as usual and hmmm…. did we had our sleep??

122106: Sobrang saket na umagang ito! Daig ko pa aatakihin sa puso! Walang tulog as usual. It was also my scheduled projection schedule for the 4am mass. Wasn’t myself really. With Lyan,, Juni,, Bimby and Rai,, went straight to Divisoria after the mass. Had our breakfast at KFC, DV. Back to 168 and bought the give-aways and prizes. We waited for Loki to find his way then it was I guess past 10 or 11 already,, back to Eastwood then to OLMMP supposedly for the LA but since there’s no budget given yet,, back to Eastwood and had my frap of course from Starbucks,, went to Powerstation while waiting for Kat to arrive,, left them eventually for OLMMP at around 7pm already. After our serve,, Rai and I stayed over at Lyan’s pad again.

122206: Busy day ahead! First stop,, NBS for LA materials,, then to Daily for the waffles we’re gonna make,, then to the hardware for the painting materials. Back to Eastwood,, made the waffles,, burnt the cds,, had our bath,, back to OLMMP then FCetM party begins. Really thought we ain’t gonna make it but we did and it was fun! [Pictures and videos will be uploaded soon at the FCetM site] We had newspaper dance,, trip to Jerusalem,, intermission songs by kat and dei,, mixed performance by lene with cess and jane,, kalokohan blues namen ni rai,, ang makalokong longest line [no comment para sa mga certified pro! lalo ka na nayl! iba ka tol!],, bring me game and “sticker hunt”. Had our serve at 8pm as usual. LA m0de at 9pm,, just started painting the background then back to Lyan’s pad at midnight.

122306: Woke up,, back to NBS for the additional materials,, then to the hardware,, then to OLMMP,, waited for Bimby then to Lyan’s pad to wake up Lyan and Rai,, back to LA at 3pm after watching Cloud Staircase for 3hrs. [adik ba?! nakakahook eh.. hehehe…] Worked on the LA the whole time. No sleep for me again. Still it was fun. Pictures and videos at Lyan’s site.

122406: Derrick’s birthday. Sorry wasn’t able to come to your invite since we were really busy and I can’t take the risk of leaving our tasks. LA’s done at around 4am, brought it to the altar after the mass then back to my pad after getting my stuffs from Lyan’s place. Had my nap,, mommy woke me up for my nails to be cleaned from the paints stuck in it,, bought some stuffs,, then to Uncle’s place for dinner. OLMMP m0de,, then to Lyan’s pad after the mass.

122506: So it was Christmas already,, called mommy to greet her and tell that we’ll be spending the night at Lyan’s pad. After some minutes mom called, crying and telling me to call Miko. Same goes with my brother. A lonesome Christmas,, Loki decided to pick me up since I can’t find any means of transpo for me to go back to Eastwood for my mom. Not a very good Christmas for him too,, could hardly greet you for the season nor your birthday. Back to Eastwood at around 3 or 4am I guess. Again,, thank you and really sorry for everything. Brought mommy to bed and we slept. Was playing RO,, then back to churchwork,, decided to go somewhere else after our serve. Decided to go to Starbucks as planned,, suddenly,, decided to ride Vikings too! It was my first time,, video at Lyan’s multiply site. Then went to Starbucks and waited for Bimby. Rai’s friends were there too so everyone just shared tables and lucky for me,, this night…. I got my STARBUCKS 2007 PLANNER!!! Thanks to everyone who was with me this night. Am really grateful. Then we decided to go to Riverpark again and this time with Bimby. Again with the boat ride then the ferris wheel. Wasn’t able to ride the octopus but still thankful cause if Lyan’s mom didn’t asked us to go back,, we could’ve been at the hospital because of the reported accident. Back to Lyan’s pad,, they had their late dinner,, Eulo and the rest suddenly showed up,, quite drunk already and asking us to join them,, instead,, we refused and gave them another bottle of Emperador from Lyan’s room. Just had a quite night and eventually we had our sleep. For the 1^st time,, the 4 of us slept.

122607: My favorite cousin’s birthday. Anyway,, I just played RO then if am not mistaken,, I was at McDo with Kat and Dino,, yeah I was! Then back to my pad since Uncle Bobbit will be visiting us. Then back to RO for me.

122706: Was just playing RO the whole day. Met up with Ninang and Tito Freddie at Pho Hoa,, left them to talk while I met up with AC and Irene at McDo. After an hour or two we decided to go to Brown and drink. After almost 3weeks without alcohol,, it’s just this night again when I’ll be able to taste it again. Just had 3 bottles I guess then decided to go back since Kat didn’t return already and told mommy I’ll be back by midnight.

122806: My sister’s birthday. Sad I wasn’t able to see her. Decided to go to Cubao in the afternoon. Went to Ali Mall and started going through the shops,, trying to find some stuffs for someone. Since Lyan, Ruby nor Clariz are already at Starbucks,, I was just walking through gateway still looking on some stuffs. Finally they arrived! Had our drinks then Lyan and I decided to buy hotdog sandwiches from DQ. Back to gateway and bought some gifts for peepz. Then to Frio for iced tea and ciggie. Back at Lyan’s place as usual while Ruby and Clariz already went home. Went to Ayumi’s birthday,, called up Eulo,, met new crowds and damn,, hello MP and RHB.

122906: Back to Lyan’s pad and watched DVD. Took a nap then left at around 11am already. RO day for me as usual,, then to Lyan’s pad with Rai. Saw a girl attempting to jump from their rooftop at Project 4 then we went out to buy our burgers then back to Lyan’s pad. Decided to play dress-up on Rai then watched DVD as usual.

123006: Was playing RO and surfing the net the whole time when suddenly Rai wanted to stay over at Lyan’s place since she doesn’t have company at her place. Lyan was fine with. Also got another message that my HS friends are coming by and wanna drink. Just decided that since Lyan ain’t home yet,, brought Rai with me then met up with Kym and Jolly at Blue Onion,, paid a visit to Ipanema [again! this night pissed me off!!!! speak up! am really starting to hate you!] Then to Lyan’s place past 2am already. Watched Secret Cutting [a great movie! swear!] then was left watching tale of two sisters.

123106: Went back to Eastwood as soon as the movie was finished. Had my nap,, joined mommy to Skin Perfect,, ate at McDo,, went to OLMMP,, back to Eastwood with Bimby and Rai,, spent the New Year at Central Plaza,, was waiting for the clock to strike 12 then BOOM! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Free beers at the central plaza and of course,, dance floor’s at the same ground,, we were dancing with the music while drinking our beers,, greeted some Ipanema people,, back up here,, we ate,, then to Lyan’s pad! Bimby and I were the first to arrive,, Rai dropped by at her father’s place to greet. We were playing on Google Earth then went downstairs since Marco and Sheina were already coming. Also called up Eulo to drop by,, finally Rai came back. We were playing poker and pusoy dos,, and the bets!? NUMBER OF SHOTS! There were 3 bottles of Emperador waiting to be empty. Anyway,, we were only able to finish 1.5 bottle of Emperador since it was already 7am and Sheina and Marco had to go. So many bloopers swear! Check out Lyan’s site. Back to Lyan’s room and we watched Shutter. I just finished the DVD again then decided to go home. Woke up Bimby and Rai since Lyan would also be leaving early,, Rai straight home while Bimby and I dropped by at Jeej’s place since he has something to give us then finally rest for Bimby and me. [how we started the year]

oh well,, that's it for now... not really in the mood... 2007... swerte daw year of the rabbit... sana nga...

hurting inside... sooo much!

2006-12-21T04:07:00.000+08:00

MASAKET... PERO DI BALE NA LANG...

ALAGAAN MO SIYA... MAHALIN MO SIYA...

YOU'VE FOUND ONE OF THE GREATEST PERSON IN THIS WORLD...

NOTHING MORE TO SAY... DON'T REALLY WANT TO MAKE ANY CONFLICTS...

TO BE OUT OF THE PICTURE IS MY ROLE.. BUT NOT TOTALLY...

BASTA ALAGAAN MO SIYA PLEASE... INGATAN MO PUSO NIYA...

AND FOR YOU... YOU DESERVE IT... TO LOVE AGAIN...

I WASTED MY CHANCE AND STILL REGRETTING IT...

partner028

badtrip for the night

2006-11-27T02:12:00.000+08:00

takte! kakatapos lng ng WoE... mababasag na ang carnage ng xilero..... huhu... utol koh wala... tapos di pa OL c jaylen,, di ko naman galamay characters niyo para ipagalaw niyo sa 'kin... huhu! wala ng castle...tapos panay mga nagtatalunan p sa paghahack yung iba.. shiznit naman! kamustah naman,, rush and jaylen!!! quit na daw!!! ayos yan!! i can't be the gm... huhu!!! bagal-bagal pc ko eh tapos sobrang alanganin pa oras ng WoE... waaaah!!!! amfufu naman... hai... miko where are you?! amf! /sob

Im a Talkative Druggie Who's Great In Bed [HOLY SHIZNIT!]

2006-11-22T14:57:00.000+08:00

January- Horny
February- Gothic
March- Preppy
April- adorable
May- Stupid
June- Vain
July- Kissable
August- Beautiful
September- Talkative
October- Nerdy
November- Pretty
December- Popular

What day is ur birthday?

1- Beauty Queen
2- Poser
3- Ninja
4- Actor/Actress
5- Fairy
6- Hottie
7- M other
8- Punk
9- Dog
10- Candy Cane
11- Caution Freak
12- Angel
13- Irish Girl
14- Princess
15- Crack-Trash
16- Alcoholic
17- Teacher's Pet
18- Stoner
19- Pirate
20- Power-Ranger
21- sexy beast
22- Surfer
23- Piece of Pizza
24- Gay
25- Druggie
26- Drama Queen
27- Surgeon
28- Sex Maniac
29- Rockstar
30- Hooker
31- Care Bear

What color is your hair?

blonde=Who's sexually frustrated
brown=Who's great in bed
dirty blonde=Who is greatly frustrated
black=Who is very talented
red=Who loves to ride emus
pink=who loves to make out.

Now repost this saying "Im a _ _ _"
Or you will have bad luck for 10 years..."yeah
right,jz do ds 4 fun

why evenbother?!

2006-11-21T03:12:00.000+08:00

seems like am calm...

seems like am still stable...

seems like am at ease...

seems like nothing's change..

seems like everything's just fine...

but.......... NO!

NAIINIS AKO!

NAGAGALIT AKO!

NALULUNGKOT AKO!

NAPAPRANING NA KO!

damn! why do i even bother?!

at the same time those whom i thought could help would be able to sense that i'll be needing it but NO!!! especially those 2 persons who seems like they care but could be so damn insensitive at times or rather most of the time! dang!

and for you my dear brother..... IDILAT MO NGA ANG MGA MATA MO AT MAG-ISIP KA NAMAN PAMINSAN! SANA MAISIP MO AT LEAST NARARAMDAMAN KO NGAYON KUNG DI MO MAN KAYANG MARAMDAMAN YUN!

MAS MALALA KA PA SA AMA NATIN!

Someday by Nina

2006-11-21T02:13:00.000+08:00

Someday you’ll gonna realize
One day you’ll see through my eyes
But then i wont even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if i cant

I know
You don’t really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
We’ll iv’e got news 4 you
I know i’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long

[Chorus]
Coz someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i wont even miss you
Someday, someday

But now
I know you can tell
I’m down,and i’m not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I wont have to cry
Sweet goodbye

[Chorus]

Co’z someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, someday

RANT!

2006-11-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

HATIN' THIS FUCKIN' DAMN LIFE

FULL OF CRAPS AND SHITS!

TAPOS DAGDAG KA PA NA TAKTENG

WALANG TIGIL SA KAKATALAK,,

PATAASAN NG BOSES GUSTO MO?!

NAKAKARINDI KA NA AH!

MEDYO UBOS PA MAN DIN ANG

PASENSYA KO NGAYONG ARAW NA TO

KAYA SANA WALA NG DUMAGDAG

NA PESTE!

greetings

2006-11-10T13:08:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the following:

9 - Shella Yabao

10 - David Dasig Donato III
Baretz

12 - Leo Tagle

14 - Mia

15 - Kyrene

17 - Daniels Leano

EVEN ANGELS FALL

2006-11-07T03:28:00.000+08:00

it's been quite some time since i've last updated my blog.. nothing much as usual,, but here it goes...

oct 23, mon: tambay mode at mcdo,, visited informatics,, had a short meeting at olmmp,, alak mode alone...

oct 24, tue: woke up really late,, ragnarok mode then went to greenpark at my ninang's pad and had a talk... very serious talk... was really feeling depress and hurt inside... back to eastwood then watched world trade center lfs with bro and kerubim. damn! the movie was great! swear! just can't express how great it was because of my mood..

oct 25, wed: good morning uncle! shieks!!! resumed my oracle session. pita mode with bro and kerubim after then powerstation mode, release a bit of tension and madness from the morning stuffs. ragnarok mode as usual.

oct 26, thu: bonding moments with kat,, ate at pancake house "monthsary daw namen ni kat".. and again happy birthday to ruby reodava and kc mendoza. quite a night since it was a mix of several moods that i really couldn't review for the exam...

oct 27, fri: ragna mode the whole day,, bimby arrived for IELTS overview and tips. lotsa talking and ish. ate at mcdo with mama then review mode again after bimby left.

oct 28, sat: the ielts day!!! gawd! after the test,, loner moments somewhere in makati,, GB2,, G4,, starbucks mode and if am not mistaken this was also the day that kat, terence and i had some drinks at foodstreet and videoke mode for tripping. ipanema night as usual with cha.

oct 29, sun: churchwork in the afternoon,, went to chat konek for lyan's resume then at lyan's pad with bimby,, alak mode... quite a memorable night for bimby...

oct 30, mon: ielts speaking test! hate the weather.. thought the test would be cancelled but NO! back to my pad with lyan and bimby around 11am already and i needed to be in makati by 1pm. thought i was gonna be late, was just on time and damn that speaking test,, the only thing that eased me from the tension was having a political topic in the interview. back to eastwood to meet lyan and bimby,, call center tripping for lyan's application and twice mcdo trippings. poor bimby,, was really sleepy that day.. next time don't drink too much.. ;) anyway,, back to my pad and ragna mode while waiting for my bro to come back since we were attending our cousins' bday celebration. had some beers and cuervo after dinner, just me and my bro. thought there would be no drinking since it was at my tita's place,, hehe... :p

oct 31, tue: supposedly we were to go back here at eastwood but then wasn't able to do so since miko slept the whole day!!!

nov 1, wed: still playing ragnarok,, my bro overslept again so eventually we were late at the cemetery. prayed, ate, talked and left. back to eastwood then ragna mode as usual. then...... HATEFUL NIGHT!

nov 2, thu: "EVEN ANGELS FALL" didn't have a good night really.. totally pissed. ragnarok mode the whole day. olmmp meeting at 7pm,, back to my pad and ragna mode again.

nov 3, fri: 1am pa lang di na ko nakatulog... was really worried bout someone very close to me. receiving nonstop calls and texts til 3am,, checking also on her. slept around 4 or 5am. woke up almost 10am to meet kat. kat was quite late so i played RO again. met her at mcdo then went to tokyo-tokyo with tos while waiting for tin's reply to kat. went to galle,, kfc mode then met keren,, my co-model,, then the fitting session!!! damn kat!! huhu... so gay of me.. swear! oh well,, back to eastwood after choosing our pairs. mcdo mode with tos, keren and kat. gweilos moment,, cervesa negra for me,, dry for tos,, light for keren and four season for kat?! oshni,, the other photographer,, arrived. cha texted me for ipa night. had my shower then poof! there was ipa. had our ipa cd's. regie with his wifey,, payat was there thank gawd! mark was also there,, quite a while since we had our last talk. ANG ISINUMPA AY NAGPAKITA!!! iwas away na lang.. pero punyemas wag ka ng papakita uli dito..! [for those people who knows the acropolis incident.. you know who am talking about...] left past 2am.. met up with oshni and kat while they were waiting with keren and friends from blue onion. back to my pad around 4am.

nov 4, sat: good morning uncle... rush hour for me since it was a very short sleep for me and with i dunno how many beers in my system. they had breakfast at mcdo then we went to la loma to visit papa's grave. visited the gloria residence. chowking mode after then back to eastwood. met up with irene then decided to stay at adriatico,, alak mode. ac arrived past 7 already,, was done at almost 9pm in adriatico. they went to brown and me back to my pad. again cha,, super duper sorry!!!

nov 5, sun: supposedly was to have my churchwork in the morning but mama wasn't here so eventually i wasn't able to leave since i don't have the breads. ragna mode while waiting for mama. left at around 2pm to meet up with kat for the rehearsal and the unannounced photoshoot!! huhu... poor me.. wasn't even able to serve at 5pm neither 6pm mass.. wondering how it went at the church. it was quite a tiring day but still back to my pad,, decided to watch the marine. short movie but somehow quite a sweet one.. or maybe more of the action side. well,, cena was good,, quite amazed though since he didn't have a stunt double in the whole movie. back to my pad asap after the movie.

nov 6, mon: not much really,, ragna mode,, met up with kat at mcdo,, got the photos from oshni,, uploaded the pics,, back to my pad with kat,, went to rob with mama,, ragna mode til now.

lotsa things are really bothering me.. trying to be steady and keeping myself busy but i just can't. damn! am full of hatred and regrets.... am totally hating it...

A Very Happy Birthday To You

2006-10-28T02:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

PAULO

NAPOLEON

"bhong"

SICANGCO

BONGATO

wishing you all the best

and

goodluck on everything

always take care

partner028

Gig Invite to Peepz

2006-10-26T03:23:00.000+08:00

What: Homeless Portrait (Flips Sneaks Pumps Production)
When: Nov 18, '06 3:00pm
Where: Tops and Tables Bar, Eastwood City, Libis

Benefit event for Gawad Kalinga Singles Village in Tarlac.

Multimedia Exhibit by Wowenkho Studios
Fashion show by LEAF

Performances by:

Join the Club
Kjwan
Reggae Mistress
Blue Ketchup
Moyg
Sando
Rubadub
Gleecs
Dayuhan
Taka
Fume
Garlic Project
Spring Boutique

Tickets are at PhP250

updates?!

2006-10-22T12:37:00.000+08:00

Oct 15, Sunday: Woke up I don't know what time,, visited David at his pad since his not feeling well. OLMMP afterwards for FCetM mode. Isawan blues with Lyan and ofcourse,, alak mode at Patio. Went home early too and was quite upset for doing so.

Oct 16, Monday: Went to foodstreet with Rai, Lyan and Stephen. Rai and Stephen played billiards while Lyan and I were singing at the videoke and started drinking already. Unexpected stuff happened to Stephen,, it's for me and Lyan to know. Anyway,, back to my pad,, had a fight with mama AS IN! Left my condo,, drunk with payat and other peepz at Brown then Ipanema then went out of nowhere. Back to my pad around 7am already I guess,, to lessen conflict with BATAS.

Oct 17, Tuesday: Ragna mode only

Oct 18, Wednesday: Was at Mcdo with Ralph, Terence and Robin. Went to Informatics to update on some stuffs. Loner moments afterwards,, just for tripping,, I went to Powerstation again and instead of my usual dmx mode,, I had a videoke alone! Shieks! I was totally alone for 2 hours singing in that room. Then back at my pad and poof! Uncle was really mad! Luckily it was only through the phone that I had to speak with him. Quite tensed again so I went back down and told mama that I'll be looking for Miko. I did but then I quite let the time pass walking around then bought C2 and e-aji and had my ciggy by the lobby. Ragna mode afterwards again.

Oct 19, Thursday: Almost forgot! It was also Dexter's birthday,, David's brother. Ragna mode the whole time since I woke up then went to their pad around 5 or 6 I guess. Went home around 9pm. Watched The Guardian LFS,, and damn! For me the movie was great! Even though it was a lengthy movie,, many things were to be learned not only to pursue for the records of life. Met up with Ritz after the movie which was already around 1:30am. Had a lil' talk at Starbucks then went to Mcdo cause she was really hungry,, went to my unit to grab my jacket then went to Gloria Jean's,, had my tea while waiting for Ritz's friend. Ritz! Super thanks for your morning treat. Anyway,, spent some more time chatting by the lobby while waiting for her cab. Back to my pad around 430am already I guess then Ragna mode again. I guess am really having the hook on this game again.

Oct 20, Friday: Now this is quite a day! Or should I say had quite a night?! A really long night.... The night that really marked my life of being single again. Mad, bitterness, depression.... a night of everything which are true bout me and lies for him. That's how I would be defining it. Finally,, for the first time,, it was me to have the floor to speak and really hear what they have to say. Had a drink at Brown since they said it was irene's despidida?! Anyway,, whatever the occassion is,, someone it was good that I decided to go there. had I dunno how many bottles since all I didi was drink and drink and drink and TEXT! Reality bites talaga... I know my faults and I spilled it all out so I guess there's nothing for you to say anymore,, they spilled stuffs bout me and bout us,, and don't worry,, things against me that were REALLY TRUE,, OF COURSE I DIDN'T DENY THEM. I know how you really feel my dear,, mas malala pa nagawa sa kin ng ex-gf koh and that lasted for how many years. Sorry for cursing on you again. That'll really be the last time. Oh well,, left around past 9 I guess then had a shower then down to IPANEMA with Cha,, her treat since it was her pay day. Both were depress,, Rai arrived around midnight. Wasn't dancing much but obviously,, still drinking,, we had another 4 buckets of beer. by the way,, this night was also considered as an earthquake night. Anyway,, another ish and prob came up and damn I was webbed again with it. Oh well...

Oct 21, Saturday: Really had a bad hangover.... no food since the previous day and this day too,, I just can't. Anyway,, around 5 or 6pm,, went down to mcdo and had some chat and bangagan time with Kat, Ralph, Alee, Terrence and Robin. Back to my pad around 8pm then RO mode again. Went down around 9pm and had a drink at foodstreet with Santi. Hai,, ang problemado kong friend,, away with gf tapos work probs pa,, magsama-sama na talaga mga problemado sa buhay. Anyway,, only had a lil drink then he's off to work and am back to my pad,, RO mode again. Was playing a bit then had a chat with sis.. also was really bothered by the mystery of the thepurification.org site. Seriously! It kept me awake the whole night thinking bout the mystery embedded with it. waiting for 24 days and some other random days. A timer and 6 subtimers. Saying and stuffs. The symbol... The heck with these?! There's this site that argues bout the puzzle thepurification.org is giving. If you're curious enough like me and some other peepz,, might as well check it out. By the way,, another weak earthquake happened last night,, Miko and I thought we're high or was really drunk but no! Hahaha! Other peepz also texted me saying they also felt it while ofcourse those who were in the bars and having their night out didn't.

Hmmm.... I guess that's it for now... will this be a weekly update of my blog?! Actually,, I was planning to hav a whole month entry.. it was about last month,, but I guess there's no use for that now,, unless someone bothers me again and makes a big deal out of last month ish and headaches then why not!? Why was last month still so fresh in my mind?! Oh yeah,, it was since the car accident! Hahaha! Oh well... ta-ta for now!

greetings

2006-10-22T11:05:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday nga pala sa mga pipol:

Oct 19 - Ciara Borja

Oct 20 - Bambi Bandong

Oct 22 - Camille Cammayo

quoted from a movie.....

2006-10-20T17:13:00.000+08:00

Say there was a girl. And from the time she could understand, she was taught to fear. Lets say she was taught to fear daylight. She was taught that it was her enemy, that it would hurt her. And then one sunny day.. you ask her to go out and play, and she won't. You can't be angry at her. Can you? We are who we are. People don't change.

thanks

2006-10-14T15:12:00.000+08:00

thank you for my season short lived that it was,, that's life. thank you for that one moment in time that you were MHINE.

thanks for the following peepz:

jeytz and ralph for the buckets of beer...
miko for dragging me to ipa and trying to ease me up...
kat for trying to ease me up too when i was planning to have my next slash again...
miyong for the shisha,, let's talk bout your calling next time when i don't have alcohol in my system....
payat and nico for being at ipa and easing me up,, namiss talaga kita payat!
santi for playing a song for me daw,, haha!
and SIS! gawd! sobrang thanks for being here last night... i really didn't expect you arriving here last night.. thanks for lending me a shoulder to cry on especially when i needed it.

got myself quite wasted again and gahd damn heavy head for crying out loud.

to you! FYI! di ako peke umiyak! bangas ako kung bangas,, pero hindi ko rin gustong takot sa kin mga tao,, sino ba ko para katakutan diba?! gago rin ako sa gago kaya sorry talaga kung namura na kita.. sorry talaga.. sorry rin talaga sa lahat-lahat.. i'm really givin' you space now. just really think 'bout it. love's never enough to keep everything working out. papalipasin ko rin muna bitterness ko.

mad nights.. loner nights....

2006-10-13T02:35:00.000+08:00

not much of a loner really cause people just keeps on pooping out from somewhere...

Oct 7: went to powerstation for a bit of DMX,, saw ralph and went to informatics for the follow up in oracle,, talked with kat and they invited me along at robin's bday. celebrated it at gerry's grill and ended it with some margaritas. left gerry's grill and their crowd,, had my medicine then back to central plaza for the oktofest. met up with jeytz and marc,, istine wasn't with them though i was kinda expecting her,, after they left i moved along then suddenly kamil popped out calling me,, her sister with the crew was with her,, HS peepz showed up too,, took a peek at ipanema's peepz and saw regie and his wifey,, sonny and casey. eulo arrived tipsy,, so we just had another redhorse and ended the oktofest with again seeing familiar faces.

oct 8: churchwork,, went home early,, played dmx again at powerstation,, waited for the next screening time and watched step up and had my mocha frap at starbucks after the movie then back to my pad.

oct 9: got really nothing to do,, decided to wash 2 pairs of my shoes,, funny cause even though i was having another bad day washing these shoes made me laugh since a pair flew out of the window and i had to run after it downstairs and eventually wash it again,, quite funny really,, met up with whillyne,, had a talk at starbucks,, kym,, marga and ritz popped out of nowhere and we stayed talking bout lots of stuffs outta there. back to my pad,, whillyne stayed over,, sleepless night for mama and i and of course the next day.....

oct 10: quite a busy day,, no sleep,, went to dlsu for my ID,, to makati for the IELTS application,, to the bank for the cheque,, to megamall for payment at berkley and finally back to our pad.. it was my lasagna day... bought mine from sbarro and we also had pizza from yellow cab as usual.went down to meet up with kym and her crowd at bed,, supposedly we will be meeting up again after bringing her gurl home,, problems were so inevitable so it ended up that it was only miko and me left to spend our time pass at ipanema,, it was the only night that miko and i would spend time together yet there was no vj so it was quite a dull night. had only 2 bottles then bounce,, off we go back to our pad.

oct 11: went to info to update again on my oracle stuffs,, sit-in at kat's class,, went back to my pad,, really pissed off at that time so just decided to go down again and ease up a bit,, went to ipanema and had few beers,, was really down but then thanks to santi and the other crews i had my post bday celebration.. thanks for the bucket and food and ofcourse for playing some of my songs... i became really jumpy that time but then back to how i was after some minutes.. back to my pad again,, blank mood.

oct 12: still not in a good mood,, schedule to galleria was moved on saturday,, was at mcdo with chilton and jae for quite some hours,, after they left powerstation mode again for me then had a last full show of the departed and now am back again to my pad. i highly recommend people to watch The Departed,, it's really a great one. and somehow this movie strucked me,, wouldn't tell how. it's just for me to keep i guess.

oh well,, so that's it for awhile,, might be posting here quite a long entry,, details from sept 16 onwards... depending on my mood again and how far am gonna be hated.

birthday koh??? depress prn..

2006-09-25T02:19:00.000+08:00

swanget b ng title??? marame p tlga akong ilalagay dito kasi windang ang last wik ko pero masaya naman pero am with my sis kya tamang steady... niwei,,, wuts new wid me?? nothing really.. as usual,, it's d same problematic mad na kilala ninyo... anoh nga naman kasi talaga magbabago pagdating sa mood koh.. oo sa mood yun.. pero putangina pagdating sa nararamdaman,, sana nga marunong ako magsinungaling.. shiet men! happy bitterness to me.. sensya kung sabog entry koh ngayon,, umepekto nga lang ba ang tequila o dahil sa luha na biglang dumaloy na hindi ko alam kung dapat kong nilaan "sayo".. mahal kita,, oo,, maniwala ka sa hindi pero ano nga naman ang palag ko diba.. ako yung mali eh.. punyemas na buhay.... magsisimula ka pa lang bumawi kaso burado kagad lahat... ilang bese na ba pero wala.... baket nga ba ganito?? ampotah tlga buhay noh??? panay nlng punyemas na kalechehan... hai.. andame kong gustong sabihin.... andame kong gustong ilabas pero wag nlng dito tlga.. nkkhiya nmn... diba noh??? hai... magsasalita nga ba akoh... just kidding. wag nlng... hai lech!!! laro ba usapan??? talaga lang pinaglalaruan kita?? siguraduhin moh lang ah!!! ack! sabay delete ampotah... la nga pla akong karapatan magsalita.... woah!! buhay tlga.. full of misinterpretation and misjudgment... gawd dammit!! gagawin koh lahat pero punyemas wag nmn sana akoh araw-arawin ng bitterness and panunumbat... ayoko talaga sa lahat sumbat... kaya nga hindi rin akoh mahilig manumbat eh.. ack!! sabagay,, wla nga nmn akong pwedeng maisumbat xo kundi out of all odds eh ikaw at ikaw lang din ang pinili koh.... hai... ewan na talaga.. bahala nuh.. tama nuh nga muna tong blog nuh toh.... by the way,, hindi ganun kakitid utak ng kapatid koh kaya wag daw sanang palabasin na parang nababaligtad ang mga sitwasyon koh,, AMINADO AKO SA MGA NAGING PAGKAKAMALI KO!! OO!! anoh nga rin nmn mggwa ng sorry at pgsasalita dba or rushing up on stuffs... again,, for the nth time... im not asking you to believe.. take your time tsong.. and il do my way of proving it...... bxta,,,, mahal kita! sbi nga nila hndi dw sapat ang pagmamahal... i agree to that too... but at d same time i have my own way... my own way of dealing with stuffs... at the same time your way of whatever you want how things should be...... this ain't a game... itatak mo sa utak mo yan... di rin naman ako nakikipaglaro or pinaglalaruan ka eh.. pero hindi rin kita isusuko........ mahal kita........ tapos! ayoko na nga munang dagdagan toh... matutulog na lang kame ng isa ko pang sis.. ciao bloggy...! sa mga bumati sa kin.. salamat.. kung matripan niyo at magkraon ng oras... enge testi kht plain n pagbati lng.... salamat uli s lht........ memorable tlga lague bday koh noh... wla bng gud memories in terms of wutever dat i wudn't feel sorrow and shattered self inside??? ciao!!!!!!

greetings

2006-09-23T09:48:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY:

Sept 21 AC

Sept 22 EJ David

Sept 23 Glenn Mapalad

Sept 25 Lachel Moral, Opaline Santos

Sept 26 Loricar Arboleda

greetings

2006-09-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO...

sept 13: lyan

sept 14: jen

sept 15: payat

sept 16: lala

emotion survey

2006-09-11T09:39:00.000+08:00

1. what do you do when you're mad?
`` depende... something you'll hate...

2. what's the worst thing you've done when
you were mad?
`` burn myself with slash and overdose...

3. ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
`` yep...

4. ever physically hurt someone when you
were mad?
`` yep...

5. do you curse when you're mad?
`` xmpre..

*Crying Section*

1. last time you cried your heart out ?
` nung mgisa akoh d2 s condo,, biglaan nlng...

2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
` yep..

3. ever cried on your friend's shoulders?
` yepyep...

4. do you cry when you get an injury?
` n0pe..

5. do certain songs make you cry?
` yep..

*Pain Section*.

1. what's the worst thing you've done to
somebody else?
` sikreto

2. how depressed can you get?
` di moh n ggs2hing mlmn..

*Happy Section*

1. how much do u smile?
` un tunay o un peke?!

2. what can make you happy?
` dpnde rn...

3. do you wish you were happier?
` sobra!

4. what about being with your friends, does
that make u happy?
` steady...

*Love Section*.

1. have you ever loved someone so much, that
you'd die for them?
` oo nmn...

2. did you ever love a person, and tell him/her
that you love him/her?
` xmpre...

3. have you loved someone so much, it made
you cry?
` malamang lng...

4. has anyone besides your friends and family
ever said 'i love you' to you?
` yepyep...

*Hate Section*

1. have you ever hated any one that broke
your heart?
` opcourse

2. do you hate Bushh?
` nyorks...

*Self-Esteem Section*

1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
` di koh mtantsa ang baba eh...

2. do you believe in yourself?
` mgkaaway nga kme lague eh...

3. what do you say when people say they think
you are good looking/pretty?
` "ny0rks"

4. are you one of those idiots that think they
are ugly, dumb,?
` certified stupid pde p.. i know my flaws...

5. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thought
you weren't good enough?
` lague nmn eh...

6. are you happy with who you are?
` n0pe...

blank

2006-09-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

was really feeling blank for the past few days... too much depression. anyway,, after class,, was just alone yesterday here at my pad. listening to the music,, eating as many as i can for reason i don't know why. went to frio and met up with cha. lyan arrived after some minutes,, congratz for lyan and i guess the rest of your tropa since things are quite patching up [your tropa ish,, niwei]. brought lyan home with jun then back here at my pad.. and then again things went topsy-turvy.

and for now,, am in PANIC MODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

roadtrip...

2006-09-07T11:51:00.001+08:00

Just got back from quite a roadtrip. Was really depress and pissed off of myself awhile ago. Was planning to already burn or slash myself and have a drink,, instead, Jasper invited me to have a ride. Went to around the following places: ortigas--katipunan--commonwealth--makati--taft [dlsu]--commonwealth again--eastwood. Wasn't able to hang out at Starbucks since all were close! Shieks!!! We ended up staying at McDo here in Eastwood. Nothing much to share really. Again,, Jas,, thank you so much for the ride, the time and the snack. Somehow am quite fine now.

continuation.....

2006-09-04T10:15:00.000+08:00

Where was I awhile ago?!

Septmeber 03, Sunday: Net mode. Had a chat with TS. Quite in an unstable mood yesterday. Met mhine at Patio, talked bout some serious stuffs. Went to OLMMP then at around 8pm went to Lyan's pad since it was raining and Lyan wasn't in the mood to go to church already. Left at around 9pm i guess. Net mode back at my pad. Pissed off with my cellphone. Miko arrived with a friend staying over. Slept at around I dunno what time in the morning. Now, I'm wide awake and yet still sleepy but my eyes won't close anymore. 'Til here again.

serbey mode

2006-09-04T09:56:00.000+08:00

1.What is your second favorite song?
* lumbay by wickermoss

2. Do people ever tell you that you are pretty?
* daw.... eh gwapo akoh eh... hahaha!

3. When was the last time you ate peanut butter?
* can't remember

4. What brand is your cell phone?
* nokia

5. What were the last three CD's you bought?
* cd-rw :|

6. When was the last time you went to the mall?
* saturday?! at cybermall?!

7. How many Tiffany & Co. items do you own?
* none...

8. Are you happy?
* i guess so....

9. What is the last sport you participated in?
* volleyball

10. Who is a celeb girl that you think is hott?
* jennifer aniston

11. Is your hair up or down right now?
* down...

12. Is there a song stuck in your head right now?
* yep..

13. If so what is it?
* blanko by session road

14. What's for dinner?
* no idea... :|

15. Do you hate losing?
* depende... :|

16. What was the last item you ordered online?
* none...

17. What about the last item you purchased in a
store?
* book... veronika decides to die.. ^_^

18. Who are you IMing with right now?
* none...

19. Are you a xanga or myspace person?
* more on blogger and friendster but i have a myspace account...

20. Who's your daddy!?!
* don't have one... never even considered to have one...

21. What was the last veggie you ate?
* can't remember....

22. What are you unhappy about right now?
* i couldn't even explain but i am unhappy right now...

23. Are you scared of the dark?
* n0pe..

24. When is your birthday?
* sept.....

25. Do you have alot of friends?
* i guess so.... :|

26. What was the last song you downloaded?
* slow down by bobby valentino

27. What brand is the shirt that you are wearing
right now?
* lacoste

28. Clothes or shoes?
* clothes...

29. Who all is in your house right now?
* me, mama, miko and his friend cyrus

30. Do you say 'your mom!' alot?
* n0pe....

31. What is your favorite number?
* 8 [kept precious] and 9

32. Who was the last person you laughed with?
* lyan...

33. Why did you laugh with this person?
* bout david

34. Did you play with Barbies as a kid?
* yep.. :|

35. Do you like Wendy's food?
* yep!!!

36. Do you like eating a lot?
* n0pe...

37. Are you the tall one, the short one, or normal
in your group of friends?
* hehe... just the average with mah cr0wd i guess.. hehehe...

38. Do you have a digital camera?
* yep..

39. What is your eye color?
* brown...

40. Are you into football?
* n0pe...

dream a while ago [interpretation]

2006-08-29T10:28:00.000+08:00

To dream of grocery or convenience store, suggests that you are emotionally and mentally strained. Alternatively, you may be brainstorming for new ideas or looking for the various choices out there for you.

To dream that you are in jail, signifies your feelings of confinement and suffocation.

To see a jailer in your dream, suggests that you are being restrained in some way, either by your own belief system or by someone.

To dream that you are flirting or that someone is flirting with you, represents your need for intimacy and affection. You may be about to enter into a serious commitment or relationship in the near future.

To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.
To see your childhood friend in your dream, signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities and things were much simpler and carefree. You may be wanting to escape the the pressures and stresses of adulthood. Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned. Alternatively, the childhood friend may be suggesting that you have been acting in a childish manner and you need to start acting like an adult.

how am feeling in my dream

To dream that you are confused, may reflect your true confused state of mind and the nonsensical events of your dream. Isolate the single element in your dream that is confusing to you and analyze the meaning of that particular symbol. Alternatively, dreams of confusion signifies that you are being pulled in opposite directions or do not know which viewpoint is right.

To dream that you are in despair, signifies that you will have many hardships and experience much cruelties in the working world.

To feel depressed in your dream, foretells of the coming of bad news.

To dream that you feel frustrated, represents your difficulty in coping with a situation in your daily life. It may reflect your concerns that your life is not going in the direction you want.

To dream that you feel guilty about something, relates to how you are handling your successes and failures or competence and incompetence. You may feel undeserving of your achievements or on the other hand, you may feel that you have let other down. Alternatively, it is also symbolic of repressed and negative feelings that you may have about yourself.

To dream that you are in a panic, indicates a lack of control and power in your life. You may be feeling helpless in some situation or unable to make a clear decision.

To dream that you feel suffocated, signifies that you are feeling smothered by some situation or relationship. It also forewarns that your current love relationship will end in an extremely bitter break up.

Now,, you reading this site, can you tell how my dream went and fill in the blanks to complete my whole dream?! Already had the interpretation per part and my analysis as a whole is simple and somehow really depressing but true. Just hoping that this would just serve as a sign and not totally a threat. For those who are familiar on how my dream works in the real life. I know you'll understand.

MM question m0de 02

2006-08-28T03:12:00.000+08:00

1. I won't eat past ten o'clock in the evening.
2. My favorite subject for photographing is _____. [ didn't took IST : ]
3. I use photoshop most often to edit my photographs.
4. If I'm having trouble sleeping, I usually surf the net
5. When I'm hungry for a snack, I usually eat noodles.

MM question m0de 01

2006-08-28T03:04:00.000+08:00

What comes to mind when you think of the following colors?

RED: blood
BLUE: ocean deep
GREEN: nature
YELLOW: kamz
PURPLE: craft
PINK: being totally femme
ORANGE: TAPAT [my political party]
BLACK: my own darkroom... solitude...
WHITE: peace of mind... still solitude...

blah,, blah and blah...

2006-08-26T10:25:00.000+08:00

nothing much to share really,, last thursday met aleine at starbucks gateway. he finally met david,, hehehe... went to lyan's pad after. nothing much again really,, after eating we had gin grapes... [alak?! alak?!] pacing mode kme since it's my bro's finals and we really had to go.. oh well,, i missed playing cards with aleine! hehehe... was there till 1am. my bro and her gurl got into a fight and eventually my bro didn't come back to our pad with me, instead i brought her gurl to her place.

yesterday,, wasn't really in the right mood. [parang lowbatt],, niwei,, went to mcdo to join the crowd,, went to tokyo-tokyo to join ralph and kat's crowd. waited for terence regarding the book i borrowed from the library. back to mcdo since the library was used for tesda. went to adriatico around 4-5pm, had sisha and only a bucket. back to mcdo past 6pm,, ate stapeggi and fries. back to adriatico for another bucket with jt and marc. back to my pad past 11 and slept.

that's all for now. told yah,, not much of an entry really. hope this day would have more sense than my usual days.... ciao!

greetings

2006-08-25T12:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE FOLLOWING PEEPZ

AUGUST 23RD:
CHRISTINE ANGELICA GOCHANGCO FERRER

AUGUST 25TH:
KAMILLE GARDUCE ADRANEDA

AUGUST 26TH:
JEYTZ TAYAG

AUGUST 27TH:
ARIS AGUILA

nothing much.... [alak?! alak?!]

2006-08-23T14:17:00.000+08:00

august 20, sunday: got home at around 1pm from lyan's pad. net mode as usual. went to frio to lend rosa my gowns. went to project 4, met rai. waited for bimby. went to lyan's pad again. stay over again. waited for eulo and the rest to arrive. had 2 pitcher of gin grapes, 15 strong ice, and tres cepas brandy. bitin pa rin sa alak as usual. bimby, lyan and i back to kulitan moments kasi tulog na uli mga people.. slept at around 5am.

august 21, monday: woke up at around 9am, had lunch at lyan's pad. back to eastwood around 2pm. went to frio and met david. went to complex, alak mode and billiards. david was "judged" by joana [hehehe] had 3 sets of colt. we won the game,, [xmpre pambato namen si rai... naging 2 against 1 ba naman...] back to eastwood past 9pm. tambay mode sa baba with miko, whillyne and david. whillyne and miko had an argument and broke up.. [as usual.. there back together after a day]

august 22, tuesday:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

KHRISTINE SINGH!

woke up around 8am, went to my class, david arrived at mah pad. left my unit around 1pm for david's class. met terence and got the book extended til friday. waited at fitness first. ralph, kat and purple arrived. kat left with carlo to mcdo. went back to icite with ralph and purple to use the net. went to mcdo. back here at mah pad around 5pm with david. watched tv. he had a teaste of the ginsen candy. i warned him but then.... oh well... hahahaha!!!!! really funny! checked out the rest of the crowd at jaipur, david had to left early for his finals. me back at my pad. miko arrived, had yosi break downstairs. saw chilton at mcdo. was caught at adriatico with jeytz and marc or mark?! which is the right spelling?? niwei,, passed by at dencio's, only aris, baldo and jonjon were left. back to adriatico and had 2 buckets of sanmig light... not really used to drinking sanmig anymore... niwei,, miko and whillyne followed. left adriatico around 11pm.

nothing much bout today i guess....................... didn't attend my class..... not in the mood.

Comfort In Your Strangeness by Cynthia Alexander

2006-08-23T13:33:00.000+08:00

woke up this morning
I was staring at the ceiling cracks
and roadmaps and landscapes and highways
I have seen
I have been
to places far and deep in my mind only to find
Comfort in Your Strangeness
Of moving shadows when I call the wind by name
rushing fire, water in the dark of a cloud
I have seen, I have been
to places far and deep in my mind only to find
Comfort in Your strangeness
we are slaves to the crimes we commit
in fits of passion we shame
we are nothing we are nothing we are nothing we are nothing
but the dust on Your feet
dying to be born again
singing Ether Water Fire singing Earth Singing Air
I have seen, I have been
to places far and deep in my mind only to find
Comfort in Your strangeness
I have seen, I have been
to places far and deep in my mind only to find
Comfort in Your strangeness

girl language daw...

2006-08-23T00:47:00.000+08:00

Message:
- FOLLOW ME

WHEN i POUT MY LiPS
- KiSS ME

WHEN i KiCK
- HUG ME TiGHT

WHEN i CALL YOU CRAZY
- iM CRAZY ABOUT YOU

WHEN i AM SiLENT
- iM THiNKiNG OF HOW TO SAY i LOVE YOU

WHEN i iGNORE YOU
- i WANT ALL YOUR ATTENTiON

WHEN i PULL AWAY
- GRAB ME BY THE WAiST & TELL ME YOU'LL
NEVER LET ME GO

WHEN YOU SEE ME AT MY WORST
- TELL ME iM BEAUTiFUL

WHEN i SCREAM AT YOU
- TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

WHEN YOU SEE ME WALKiNG
- SNEAK UP BEHiND ME, & HUG ME

iF I DONT CALL YOU
- iM WAiTiNG BY THE PHONE FOR YOUR CALL

WHEN i SAY "i DONT CARE"
-i DO CARE

WHEN iM SCARED
- HOLD ME BY THE WAiST

WHEN i LOOK LiKE SOMETHiNGS THE MATTER
- KiSS ME & TELL ME EVERYTHiNG WiLL BE
ALRiGHT

WHiLE i HOLD YOUR HANDS
- PLAY WiTH MY FiNGERS

100 things bout me

2006-08-23T00:20:00.000+08:00

1. Name: camille
2. Middle Name: patricio
3. Location: eastwood
4. Place of Birth: Q.C.
6. Male or Female: bi
7. Bus: huh?!
9. Occupation: estudyante
10. Pc Shop: station168
11. Screen Name: darkwillow

. Your Appearance :

12. Hair Color : brown
13. Hair Length: shoulder length
15. Best Feature: u judge...

16. Height: 5'2"
18. Glasses: nawala...
19. shoe size: 6
20. eye color: brown

Your Firsts

22. First best friend: clariz
23. First Award: nursery
24. First Sport You Joined: swimming
25. First thing you did today: check time
26: First thing you ate today: rice
27. First thing you said today: 9 akoh papasok
28. First Love: gurl or guy?

Favorites

29. Movie: wishing stairs
30. TV Show: one tree hill
31. color: red and black
32. Rock Band: for now.. panic! at the disco
33. Place to get groceries: shopwise/robinsons
34. Food: pasta and sashimi
35. Season: winter... how i wish..
36. Candy: lollipop nlng...

37. Sport: volleyball
38. Restaurant: italliani's
42. Animal: miao
43. Book: by lady shabe and scott cunningham
44. Magazine: newsbreak

Currently

45. Doing before you started this
survey: drinking
46. Thinking: blog mode nuh!
47. Wearing: pambahay, sleeveless top and shorts
48. Crying bout: wala
49. Eating: wala
50. Drinking: wala
51. Typing: serbey m0de
53. Listening To: fix you by coldplay
54. Thinking about: doing 2 chapter work
55. Wanting: pizza!
56. Watching: none

Future
57. Where do you see yourself in 5 years: graveyard
58. Kids: adopted
59. Want to be Married: nope
60. Career in Mind: IT related... probably at mom's office...

Which is Better with the Opposite Sex

63. Hair color: brown
64. Hair length: no semikal...
65. Eye color: pwde purple?! j0ke.... brown...
66. Measuremnts: gurl or guy?! anoh susukatin!? haha!
67. Cute or sexy: ugali nlng pls...
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69.Hugs or Kisses: both
70. Short or Tall: depende
71. Easygoing or serious: tamang timpla...
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both wag lang patamis ng dila...
73. Good or Bad: both... tamang balanse [nux! libra nga! hahaha!]
74. Sensitive or spontaneous: dakilang sensitive
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant one: in the middle.... akoh naman lague nasa away eh..

Have You Ever

78. Kissed a Stranger: not totally but still gago xa... di kme close..
79. Had surgery: n0pe...
80. Gone commando: i guess so...
81. Ran Away From Home: yep...
82. Broken a bone: yep...
83. Got an X-ray:opcourse
84. Been on a cruise: i guess not... [memory gap! dakila!]
85. Fell in love it hurts: sobra...
86. Dumped someone: yep
87. Cried When Someone Died: hmmm..... in gr6...
88. Cried At School: yep...!

Do You Believe In

89. God: no
90. Miracles: n0pe
91. Love at First Sight: kinda doubting it...
92. Ghost: yes
93: Aliens: yes
94. Soul Mates: n0pe
95. Heaven: steady
96. Hell: steady
97. Answered prayers: n0pe..
98. Kissing on The First DaTe: n0pe...
99. Horoscopes: steady...

Answer Truthfully

100. Is there someone you wish you had?: yes.... god dammit!

meaning of a kiss

2006-08-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

What A Kiss Means''
Message: Message: Kiss on the stomach = "lets
have sex"

*Kiss on the Forehead = "Forever you will be
mine"

*Kiss on the Ear = "I'm horny"

*Kiss on the Cheek = "We're
friends"

*Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"

*Kiss on the Neck = "We belong together"

*Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"

*Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
OR "I want you"

*Holding Hands = "We can learn to love each
other"

*Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"

*Playing with the Ear = "I can't live without you"

*Holding on tight ="Don't let go"

*Looking into each other's Eyes = "Don't let go"

*Playing with Hair on Head = "Tell me you love
me"

*Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to
let go"

*Laughing while Kissing = "I am completley
Comfortable with you"

--Advice-- *Dont ask for a kiss, take one. *If you
were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love (or strong like).

10 Types of Manliligaw [from Celine]

2006-08-20T17:02:00.000+08:00

1. Mr. Gwapings - mayaman, gwapo, kilala, at higit sa lahat may wheels. mataas ang confidence nya na hindi sya mababasted, kaya pag nabasted..maapektuhan ng husto ang kanyang EGO. at teyk note, malas mo kung may sour grape attitude pa yan. pwede nyang sabihing "sus kala mo kung sinong maganda e pinagtyatyagaan ko lang naman sya! pwe!"

2. Mr. Quickie - ang type ng manliligaw na kada magkikita kayo e wala nang alam na sabihin kundi "kelan mo ba ako sasagutin?" o kaya "i love you na, ako ba hindi mo pa lab?" kahit na isang linggo pa lang naman syang pumoporma. kung baga dinadaan nya sa pangungulit para mabilis ang pagsagot mo.

3. Mr. Everything - linya nya ang "sagutin mo lang ako, ibibigay ko sayo lahat, lahat ng magustuhan mo. kahit ang pa buwan o kaya mundo." tanga ka na pag nagpauto ka. dahil pag sinagot mo na yan, makakalimutan na nya ang linyang yan.

4. Mr. Stalker - eto yung type ng manliligaw na pag nagkahiwalay kayo e sisimulan ka sa tanong na "kumain ka na ba?" pagkasagot mo susundan pa nya ulit ng tanong "nsan ka ngayon?" "sinong kasama mo?" "anong ginagawa mo?" at kung anu-ano pa. basta tungkol sa daily activities mo kelangan malaman nya.

5. Mr. Take It or Leave It - pag binasted mo ang ganitong type ng manliligaw, asahan mo bukas may nililigawan na sya ulit. at heto pa, hinding hindi ka na nya papansinin. period.

6. Mr. Salesman - dadaanin ka sa matatamis na salita. parang si Mr. Everything din kaya lang sya mas matindi mang-uto. yun bang tipong.."ang ganda ganda talaga ng mga mata mo.." o kaya "ang kinis kinis mo" o kaya "ang lambot ng mga kamay mo" at iba pang pang-uuto mapasagot ka lang.

7. Mr. Good Dog - eto ang nakakatuwang manliligaw. kase payag syang agpaalipin. taga bitbit ng bag mo o kahit ng mga kaibigan mo. kahit magmuka syang buntot sa tuwing may gala kayo ng mga barkada mo. napapakitang gilas kung baga. pero pag sinagot mo na, for sure gaganti yan.

8. Mr. Anonimous - motto nya ang "action speaks louder than voice". wala kang kaalam-alam, nanliligaw na pala. kaya pala ang bait-bait sayo. e akala mo mabait lang talaga. hehe!

9. Mr. Second Chance - sya ang pinakamasugid mong manliligaw. kahit 100 tayms mong sabihing ayaw mo sa kanya at wala na syang pag-asa ang sasabihin nya parin "Please give me a second chance".

10. Mr. Romantiko - jologs ang mga paraan nya sa panliligaw. manghaharana, pakikisamahan mga barkada mo, liligawan parents mo at laging may dalang flowers and chocolates tuwing dadalaw. pero madalas nakakapagpakilig sya ng nililigawan.

serbey....

2006-08-20T16:46:00.000+08:00

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
,.watching tv

2. Who will be your next kiss?
,.sikreto...

3. What is the largest amount of money you
spent in one store?
,.1k

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
,.mama's wearing one now... amf...

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
,.2wiks ago...

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
,.n0pe...

7. When was the last time you cried?
,.last month...

8. Have you been to the movies in the last 5
days?
,.nope...

9. What was the last thing you had drunk?
,.C@... last nyt,, grandma, gsm blue, gin grapes, smb light and strong ice....

10. What are you wearing right now?
,.sleeveless top and pants...

11. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
,.no ride mah men...

12. Last food you ate?
,.macaroni soup...

13. Where were you last week at this time?
,.at mah pad in front of d pc...

14. Have you bought any clothing items in the last
few days?
,.last wik...

15. When was the last time you ran?
,.last nyt under the pouring rain.. yeah!!!

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
,.intrams last wik...

17. What is your favorite class?
,.oracle!!!! hahaha!!!

18. Your dream vacation?
,.bxta my falls... hai...

19. Last person's house you were in?
,.lyan's pad... alak! alak!

20. How old are you?
,.18

21. Are you in love?
,.quite?!

22. do u miss someone?
,.yep...

23. Last play you saw?
,.hmmm... s FILIPI subj p un at UP.. hehe...

24. What are your plans for tonight?
,.alak! sagot ng utol koh! at proj4.... hehehe...

25. Who is the last person you sent a message to?
,.lyan...

26. Ever go to a camp?
,.nevah...

27. Have you dumped someone?
,.amf... yep.. last nyt.. :

28.What do you want to know about the future?
,.how his lyf wud b...

29. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
,.n0pe...

30. Are you hungry
,.n0pe...

31. Do you collect anything?
,.anime... pix....

32. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
,.away!? gulo?! gera!?

33. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
,.opcourse...

34. How do you like your drink?
,.anong klaseng drink?! hehehe...

35. Do you like hot sauce?
,.yep...

36. Last time you took a shower?
,.a wyl ago...

37. Do you need to do laundry?
,.0o!n0pe...

38.Are you someone's best friend?
,.i guess so...

39. Are you sweet?
,.sweet s sweet... brutal s brutal... hehehe...

lintik na brownout

2006-08-19T16:14:00.000+08:00

Supposedly I was already done with my post last August 17 but then, suddenly there was a brownout. Only the Lafayette buildings. Damn! Anyway, so it was my brother's birthday. Was at Ipanema, had beers and tuna sisig . Was really tipsy before I went to Ipanema since I was drinking from 5pm I guess. So there, back to august 17. Terence picked me up in the morning to my class. Tambay mode after class, went to McDo, back to my pad with David for lunch, Terence followed, back to ICITE, practice mode for competition sina David, Power Station mode with terence, videoke mode, back to ICITE, then to Cybermall to check on the charger, back to McDo with the rest of the crowd, had a talk with Tin then with Aris, back to my pad, Terence also had dinner again here. Oh well, that was the summary for the entire day. Wasn't really in a good mood that day because of someone whom I could hardly understand and walked out on us.

Niwei,, also just wanna shout it out here:

TAKTE!!! NAIINIS NA KO SAYO! BAKIT BA GANYAN KA?! YOU THINK IT'S NOT HARD FOR ME?! NAGMUMUKHA AKONG NANLALARO NG MGA TAO AGAINST MY WILL! I'M HATING MYSELF MORE AND AM STARTING TO HATE YOU WITH ALL YOUR DRAMA AND STUFFS. AND FOR THE OTHER ONE... YOU'RE TOTALLY FAILING ME. NEITHER HAS THE ADVANTAGE. EVERYTHING TAKES TIME.

IT'S TOTALLY BETTER TO END THIS SHIT RATHER THAN CONTINUE. IT'S HARD TO REALLY SAY WHICH IS A BET, A PLAY OR WHAT'S SERIOUSLY GOING ON. DAMN! WHY DID I MADE SUCH AN AWKWARD DECISION. A DECISION THAT AGAIN WOULD MAKE ME HATE MYSELF MORE AND MORE AS DAYS PASS!

so there.... gotta go for now. will be leaving. and hate someone more.

for the past days....

2006-08-12T13:30:00.000+08:00

Wednesday was the start of our games. Santi watched our game but unfortunately we lost the first game. Watched CLICK upon arriving Eastwood. Also played at Powerstation. It's been a while since I DMX outta there. Anyway, already here in my pad when Regie called and told me that he was down at the reception. Went to Ipanema, had a beer, went back to my pad at around 1am and finally had my rest. Woke up early the next day, continuation of the "Sportfest" Miko was with me that morning cause again he was absent from school. Won a game out of 2 consecutive games. It was really a tiring day since we are short from players and no subs for us. Got injured as usual,, left early yesterday with Ralph, Kat, Weng and Chris. Ralph and Kat were with me back here and we ate our food at Tokyo-Tokyo. Of course I had my fave mixed sushi. Was really full and didn't notice that I already fell asleep upon entering the room. Yesterday, We were able to win 2 games. Over-all, we placed 2nd and Blue team was declared the champion. *tear* The tie-breaker rule really pissed us off. It was suddenly announced while we were having our game already and blue team had a point already. It was only raise to 15. Anyway, congrats to our basketball team. After the event, I was suppose to leave already with the same crowd yesterday but then Tin insisted for me to stay. Inuman nga naman kasi! Kasi ako daw yung magpapainom tapos ako pa aalis. Niwei,, edi wala rin akong nagawa.. Haha! Makikilala na ng mga pipol kung sino si Mad. Amf,, sila lang kasi yung mga pipol na tumatawag sa`kin na Camille! nax! hahaha!!! Eon,, akoh tanggera, hello to emperador.. it's been a while since lague gin m0de akoh or gran-ma. Tapos bili na rin sila sobrang dameng mucho. Amfufu... Siguro mga 8-10 na mucho yun.. Oh diba...! Sobrang saya nila kainuman... though kame lang ni Tin yung nagtagal with the guys since ihahatid naman akoh ni Tin and gusto pa niyang uminom. Eon,, sobrang tawa ako ng tawa kagabe sa sobrang kukulet ng mga kateam namen. Anlalakas mantrip! Hahaha! We left at around 12 already, I really did insist already to leave since I would still be going to Ipanema. Another funny thing by the way last night when we were leaving already, Terrence [ain't sure with the spelling] pulled me around the whole court then Aries also to the car. At the car, Tin already took her sleep. Dropped me off at McDo then I wento to Ipanema. There was a reservation party. I was quite tired already, then saw five-o was there and richell and the others. Don't have enough cash already but then I still decided to return after I left my stuffs up here. Prty a bit. Almost fell asleep at Ipanema but then again, thanks to Santi, finally he played my songs. Party! Party! Went back here at my pad around qtr to 4 since I'm totally exhausted already. back at the room, mama and I had some talk bout stuffs then again I didn't notice that I was asleep already. Got up around 11am today and waiting for Tin to come. Damn charger of mine! Can't use my fone since it's totally drained and can't get my sim since the new batt that I bought won't come off. Anyway,, it's nearly 3pm. Gonna meet Tin down here and I guess gonna buy a new charger.

sleep talking

2006-08-09T04:45:00.000+08:00

I suddenly remembered that a while ago I was sleep talking. That woke me up. Seriously, I know it was quite loud. Upon opening my eyes I still remember what's the last thing I said but now obviously I don't. Again, I'm bothered what was it again cause it feels like it was something important. Damn! I was really very tired, no sleep then volleyball practice, again I fell asleep upon arriving here at my pad.My arms still sore till now. Oh well, till here for now. Looking forward to eating soon at The Old Spaghetti House. Just curious how Treb's order was. Seems tempting.

greetings

2006-08-09T04:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

KAINE KENNETH UY!

continuation of my dream

2006-08-07T05:42:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I remembered that I was drinking from a seashell. I can't remember what kind of alcoholic drink that was and who were those that I was drinking with. All I know is in that part of my dream, I was happy.

Dream

2006-08-07T04:25:00.000+08:00

I'm just quite bothered from the dream I had. There's this place that I kept on going to, quite a familiar place really but can't seem to remember where it is exactly. There's this lady that I always look for and my mood suddenly enlightens everytime I find her. Suddenly I was carrying guns and was very mad. Again, I don't know why. I searched for these guns in the net and luckily was able to find them.

I was carrying 4 guns or more I guess but these were the only ones that I remembered since I was holding it while walking on a dark street. It was really a heavy feeling. A very cold mood for killing. I'm still working on interpreting this dream cause somehow it really does confuses me till now and could feel that this ain't good. I maybe the one attcaking but then there are still some details I'm hoping I could remember until this morning. At times I hate my dreams but at the same time I like them cause it makes me prevent bad stuffs or events to happen. It's just that my dreams have the tendency to foretell events but not totally around the world or where. Just somewhere within my sphere. Anyway,, till here. Gotta work on my assign and review a bit for my test.

pagbati sa kaarawan

2006-08-04T04:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

JOSE MARI

NARTATES

PONCE